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“You don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to,” he said. “I want you to be as open and honest with me as you can, and I’m promising you right now that anything you share isn’t leaving this room. It’s between you and me, and that’s where it ends.”
I nodded. Though his promise didn’t change how I felt too much, it did help me believe that I could push past my resistance.
“So, can I plan on seeing you again next week?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said after a pause. “Yes. Let’s put it on the calendar so I don’t have the chance to talk myself out of it before I see you again.”
“Sounds like a very proactive and positive choice,” he said. “Let’s see what openings I have next week. I’d like to set the appointment close to the same day so we have a full week in between. It doesn’t have to be exact, but I hate it when the days fall in a way that makes you go almost two weeks without seeing me. Such as seeing me on a Monday, then not again until the following Friday.”
“That makes sense,” I admitted. “Just put me down for the same day next week if you have the availability. I’m pretty open on my end. I can make it work.”
“Excellent,” he said as he typed a few things on a separate computer. “Now you are down for next week. Same time, same place.”
“Great,” I said with a small smile. “Thank you.”
“See you then and remember what I said. You can get a hold of me any time of the day or night if need be. I don’t want you to feel I’m inaccessible for any reason,” he told me.
“Noted,” I said. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
We said goodbye, and I closed the chat, then I sat back in my chair and took a deep breath. I felt bad for the way I shoved Krissy back out the door, but I didn’t want her to know that I was seeing a therapist. I didn’t want her to know that all the good things she was bringing into my life were also bringing back feelings and memories I didn’t want to have.
She caught me at the wrong time, and I knew I should go make it up to her.
I headed out the door and over to her house, knocking lightly. I waited for a few moments before knocking again, but she didn’t come to the door. It was late morning, so I didn’t know for sure where she was or what she was doing, but I figured I would just leave her another note and let her get back to me when she had the chance.
I headed back to my place long enough to scrawl another message on a piece of paper, then I headed back to her bungalow. I knocked again, just to make certain she wasn’t around before sliding the note under her door. For all I knew, she might be pissed at the way I pushed her out the door. That could be the reason she wasn’t answering.
I figured I’d get it straightened out with her when the time came, but for now, I had a lot to think about. I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with all the shit that was in my head, but if it meant I could move on with my life once and for all and, more importantly, be the partner to Krissy I wanted to be, then I was up for the challenge.
But one thing was for sure; I certainly wasn’t looking forward to it.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Krissy
I woke up with a start.
I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but after Kim left, I couldn’t stand having nothing to do and being alone with my thoughts. I felt guilty for walking into Gavin’s house earlier that day, even if he had given me permission to do so before.
Part of me felt like it was my fault, though another part of me wasn’t able to shake the feeling that he was hiding something from me, and if I was smart, I would figure out what it was or leave.
I’d been in a shitty relationship before Gavin—hell, all my relationships before Gavin had been shitty— and I didn’t want to deal with another. I knew I loved him, but that wasn’t enough to keep me in a relationship where I felt something was being kept from me.
I honestly didn’t know what to do.
Getting up, I headed out to the kitchen to find something to eat.
It was then that I noticed the note on the floor.
“Damn,” I said out loud as I rushed over to grab it. I figured I must have been asleep when he slid the paper under my door. I didn’t hear anything, or I would have let him in.
Sorry about not being able to hang out earlier. I’m not doing shit this evening if you want to come over.
It was straight to the point, much like Gavin, and as I scanned the letters scrawled across the piece of paper, I knew I had to give him another chance. I hated the feeling that there was something off, but I also didn’t want to throw away a good thing because of my anxiety.
Kim didn’t seem to think that it was any big deal, and she had been married to Andrew for a long time. If anyone knew what they were talking about when it came to relationships, she did.
I’d napped in my clothes, but I didn’t care that they were wrinkled. I just wanted to see Gavin. So, I slipped my flip-flops on and headed over, eager to spend some time with him.
