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“I just feel like with that being between us, I can’t fully commit to him. I don’t know how to really put it. I just don’t want to get hurt again, and it’s like my heart isn’t letting me be as close to him as I want to be because of the fear he’s keeping something from me,” I said. “So that’s where I’m at with the whole thing.”
“Shoot,” Erin said with a shake of her head. “I’m sorry, girl.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “I really don’t. I was hoping to talk to you and get some advice maybe, but I don’t want to put this all on you either.”
“The only thing I can think is to talk to him about it,” Erin said. “I know you don’t want to rock the boat, but you can’t let it keep eating at you like this, or you’re going to go crazy.”
“I already feel like I am,” I told her with a laugh. “But again, how? When? Do I just blurt it out? Do I take my time and ask about it?”
“I think you should take a breath first,” Erin laughed. “And once you do that, wait for the right time. From what I saw with you two tonight, you seem great together. I didn’t see anything that made me feel like you weren’t getting along or that something was pulling you apart.”
“Right,” I said. “But I feel like it’s eating me up on the inside.”
“Which is why you need to talk,” Erin told me. “I wouldn’t worry about it tonight, and maybe not even when you’re down here. You might just want to give it time and see what he does. You’ll know when the time is right to talk. Just keep your head on straight and be open.”
“You’re right,” I told her. “I knew talking to you was the right choice.”
“It always is,” she teased.
I laughed, and the two of us embraced before heading into the different condos for the night.
Gavin was already asleep when I got into the bedroom, and I quietly slipped into bed with him, hoping not to wake him.
But he reached out and took me in his arms, pulling me into him, and I smiled.
I felt completely safe in his arms, and that had to count for something. Erin was right. I just had to find the right time to talk to him, and I’d get this whole thing sorted out.
It would be fine. I was sure of it.
And I’d keep telling myself that until I believed it.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Gavin
The breakfast the next morning was incredibly lively, the conversation around the table going in all directions. I was engaged in two different conversations at once but found it remarkably easy to keep up with them, despite not knowing anyone well except Krissy.
Bacon and eggs and pancakes filled platters on the table, and there was more coffee and orange juice than I’d ever seen in a single hosted breakfast. It was almost like a feast, considering the number of people present.
But the one thing I noticed most of all was the love that was shared among all the people at the table. It genuinely felt like we were all members of the same family, and I appreciated that more than anything else.
It had been so long since I had any semblance of a family in my life. The breakfast we were sharing with each other was pure heaven.
After breakfast, the girls grabbed their bags and headed out to go shopping, taking Connor with them, too, although Neils offered to watch the little guy so they didn’t have to worry about him while they were out. That left me with the other veteran to kill a few hours before they returned.
“You want a beer?” Neils asked.
“Of course I do. Hope you don’t care that it’s only eleven in the morning.”
“After a breakfast like that, it’s only right that we have something to wash it down. Besides, it’s not like we’ve got shit to do today besides wait for the womenfolk to come back with Connor, right?” he asked.
“Very true,” I said as I took the beer from him. “Thank you, and here’s to you and your service. Thank you.”
“Likewise,” he said as he raised the bottle to me in return. “I have heard a lot about you, but it’s not all been from Erin.”
“Same here,” I agreed with a nod, “And it’s not all been from Krissy, either.”
“So, you know about the K & R work that I’ve done?” he asked.
