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I cut her off. “You had on a coral shade of lipstick that perfectly matched your sundress, and the pendant on your necklace was a seashell. Our eyes locked. I feared that I’d gotten too close and you’d see through me. Then I suppose you remember what your bodyguard did.”
I swallow hard. She remembers that. She remembers it was me. Damn, I was too close. I am too close. I’m too absorbed in her, but now is not the time to turn over personnel on this job.
“He ripped my hat from your hand, grabbed the front of your shirt and probably said something scary but I wasn’t listening to him. I wanted to meet you. It was one of the defining moments where I realized I couldn’t live like that forever.”
“I shouldn’t have gotten so close, but here we are.”
“I’m glad you did. It gave me hope that someone would be kind to me. That’s when I—”
“Enough. We don’t have time for trips down memory lane. We don’t have much time.” Do I detect jealousy in Erik’s voice?
Lilia pouts. “Yes, boss.”
“We…” Erik pauses and closes his eyes for a second before continuing calmer. “We have a mission.”
“Right, and the men always get to decide what I do.”
“It’s not like that.” Erik realizes the error of his ways, but it’s too late to backtrack.
“Okay, then let me call the shots for a minute.”
We’re sitting around the small table, one chair on each side, but it’s barely enough space for the three of us. I jump in, curious what she wants. Erik knows that the more relaxed an informant is, the more likely they are to open up. I wonder if his terse demeanor is because he’s fighting the same beast I am.
I motion to Lilia. “What do you want?”
Erik slaps the table. “No, we stay on track. We know how to run these negotiations. We are the FBI agents, she is the informant. Everybody needs to remember who they are. At this step of the proceedings, we are establishing how suitable you are.”
She fucking winks at me, then smiles at Erik.
“My father thinks I’m nothing. You’ve seen it for yourself. And now you know I have a fabulous memory. I can give you account numbers, names, dates, who was involved in which hits, where they happened, and where some bodies are. I can tie motivations together for when I’m sure you knew that somebody’s death was tied to us. You just couldn’t figure out why. I have everything you need.”
“Okay.” Erik pushes away from the table, grabs a pen and paper from a kitchen cabinet, then comes back and slides them to Lilia.
“Hold on, give her a second. She’s offering us everything. Let’s just hear her out. What is it you want in return?”
Erik cuts him off. “She wants her freedom, which she’ll get in witness protection.”
Lilia laughs. “Yeah, witness protection, where I give up my identity and can’t talk to any of my family members ever again. Will it be any different than the way I’ve grown up? Just be this person who you’re not and be happy about it.”
I take a deep breath. “I can’t imagine what it’s been like to grow up in that household, but I really do want to help you and the other women and children.”
“Ironically, you were part of that scrutiny, the stakeouts. You probably have a manila envelope with photos of me.”
I don’t beat around the bush. I’ve stared at the photos far longer than necessary, wondering if she ever smiles. The short amount of time I’ve been here with her, she’s smiled more than I ever saw on stakeouts. “It’s true. We’ve got an entire file on you. Every move you made that we could document.”
“If I take a stand against my family, my days could be numbered. Technology is good. Facial recognition, all of that stuff. If any loyalist in our family wants to, they’ll have every right to kill me, and they will find a way to do it. If I walk away and give you nothing, I have a chance of disappearing.”
I put a hand up. “You’ll never be safe on your own. We do this all the time and we will go to great lengths to protect you, even plastic surgery if necessary, because facial recognition is getting dangerous.”
“I’m willing to take the fall. I would give you everything if you could assure me you’ll protect the innocent family members who’ve put up with this shit for far too long.”
Erik and I talk over each other, assuring her that we’ll do everything to protect them.
“Despite how I’ve been treated, I can take care of myself. I have been for years, but that’s part of the problem.” Her tone changes, becoming much more seductive. “For one night, I want someone else to take care of me.”
Thinking she was an angel sent from the heavens is wrong—angel is an understatement. Sexual involvement is completely against the rules. Why am I even considering this? And losing my virginity in front of Erik? I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
Before I embarrass myself, I say, “To be clear, bytake careof, you mean?”
