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Offering me the ring again is completely against everything I’m trying to say. Taking it would be an utter capitulation, but it’s drawing my attention, calling to me.
“Just a token. I know you understand.”
I take it from him and hold it tentatively above my middle finger, where no one could mistake it for an engagement ring.
“Are you sure you want to give your mum’s ring to someone who’s basically walking away?”
He nods. “She wanted you to have it. I’ve kept the rest of my promises to her: Stay in Mannith. Increase the family’s power. Avenge her. Besides, I believe you’ll come back.”
This is crazy. Perhaps I should give into my heart and fall into his arms. Perhaps I should listen to my head and cut off all contact. Instead, I’m attempting something that feels like the worst of all possible worlds. And yet, I slip the ring onto my finger.
“Thank you,” I say. “Now, in ten minutes time, I need to head to the station. But, in the meantime…”
I lean over and kiss him. I half expect him to push me away after everything I’ve said, but he presses me towards him and kisses me back like his life depends on it.
“Can you cope with missing this train and getting the next one?” he asks.
“Yes,” I breathe, breaking the kiss just long enough to speak, then clamping my mouth back on his. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to do the right thing, the sensible thing. I’m going to, I’ve sworn it to myself. But I really don’t want to.
He lays his seat down, as flat as it will go and lounges back. I scoot over to him, open his belt and unzip his fly. You’d think my earlier words might have deflated him, but clearly, some combination of the kiss and the ring have turned him on past the point of all endurance. I feel exactly the same. I kick off my shoes and straddle him. At first, we just continue to kiss, while I grind against him and he holds me against him.
Then his fingers touch between my legs and my hand closes around him. The emotional intensity of the moment is basically all the foreplay I need. I feel ready to come within seconds.
“Nope. Not like that. When you’re back here, when we’re together, we can do this in all sorts of different ways. But for now, we’ll only have this memory to sustain us. I need you to come with me inside you.”
I nod shakily. There’s a mad part of me that’s tempted to break my golden rule and forego protection for once. Let fate take the decision on whether to stay out of my hands. But that’s not the person I am, so I do the semi-sensible thing and grab a condom from my bag.
Normally, whenever I go on top, I bounce around putting on a show. Now, I lean over to kiss him, and rock myself all too gently back and forth, drawing moans from both of us. We never break the kiss, and we never stop gripping onto each other with all our strength. Time seems to blur. It’s just me and him and the movement of our bodies. No regrets about the past, no worries about the future, no thoughts of anyone else. Just us, together in this moment. When my orgasm hits, it’s like snapping out of a trance. He comes a split second later, holding me firmly in place as he thrusts upwards, again and again.
We break apart, then I fall back into his arms.
“That was wonderful. I mean it, when I say I love you. But equally, I mean it when I say I need to go.”
“Thatwaswonderful.I love you, too. And I understand. I just hope that one day, I’ll manage to do enough to change your mind. Now, let’s get you to the station.”
* * *
We drive in dazed silence. I look at him, at my ring, out at the view. I’m trying to commit every inch of his face and every corner of this town to my memory. Goodness knows when I’ll see either of them again.
I kiss him again at the station, with just as much passion, even though there are several people around.
When the train pulls up, I long to throw myself back in his car. Instead, I do the adult thing and climb aboard. And then I do the childish thing and close my eyes as we pull away. I’m still aware of his presence, even through the walls of the train, even as the distance increases. And then we go through the invisible barrier of the Dome. The temperature drops slightly, the sky looks slightly greyer, and I can’t sense him anymore. Against the odds, I manage not to cry.
EPILOGUE
LONDON—PRESENT DAY
Four hours later, after two trains and a taxi, I make it back to my flat. My next-door neighbour gives me a nod of greeting as I fumble with my keys while holding my suitcase upright. I don’t know her name, and I doubt she’s noticed I’ve been gone all summer. It’s such a contrast to the way everyone knows everyone else’s business in Mannith.
I get inside, close the door behind me, then collapse onto the sofa in a heap. The flat is so much smaller than I remembered. A fraction of the size of my parents’ row of terraces or Bren’s house, never mind Thornber Manor.
Even indoors, the air feels different. More pollution, less magic, and about ten degrees cooler.
My eyes settle on the wall of drawings. I focus my gaze on the one of Leah, and it burns away into nothing. I probably ought to remove Bren’s, too, but I can’t bring myself to do that. Will he carry on sending me his art? Will losing two-thirds of his magic have affected his artistic skill?
After being away for so long, you’d expect there to be post piled high, but all my bills and correspondence are done online. There are a few pieces of junk mail, and sitting on top, two heavy envelopes, neither of which bear a stamp. That could mean someone had pushed them through the letterbox themselves, but in my experience, it usually means they’ve been delivered by magic.
I will the letters to drift from the floor over to my sofa. There’s no point going back to doing everything manually, just because I’m in London.
