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I untie it from around my waist and neatly fold it into a square before placing it in his outstretched hand. The tension is so thick in the kitchen right now you could cut it with a knife. His knuckles turn white as he grips that apron with so much force.
“Thank you,” he grits out before turning on his heel and walking back through the hallway and up the stairs at the front of the house. Everything is quiet for a second, at least I think it is. My hearing is muffled from the force of the embarrassment and adrenaline.
“Poppy?” I look up to see Wells and Hayes standing in the archway that leads into the living room. The kids seem to be oblivious for once…thankfully. I couldn’t handle it if they saw me get yelled at like that.
“What just happened?” I can barely find my voice, and it comes out as barely a whisper.
“It’s our sister Addie’s old apron. She passed a while back, and while it hit all of us hard, Rhett nearly didn’t make it,” Hayes says.
“The only thing that got him out of it was this whole rescue thing,” Wells tells me. “Addie always wanted to rescue animals, so Rhett made it happen when he took over the ranch from Pops.”
Clyde grunts. Like father like son.
“I should’ve said something about the apron, but I honestly didn’t think he’d react that badly.” Hayes clears his throat like he’s holding back his own tears.
“He needs to realize that life moves on,” Katherine murmurs. “Stubborn, heartbroken boy. I wear that thing all the time, and he never says a word.”
“You’re his momma,” Wells tells her. “We should’ve known it would upset him. I’m sorry, Poppy.”
My chest seizes with the pain he must’ve felt seeing me wear her apron. Tears roll down my cheeks without permission, and I quickly try to wipe them away. There’s nothing I hate more than crying with an audience. But my heart aches in a way it hasn’t for a long time.
“It’s okay.” I try my hardest to smile. Clyde just curses under his breath, something about how he didn’t raise his boys to act that way toward a lady. But all I can think is that he had a right to act like that. I can’t say I would’ve acted any different if I were in his shoes.
“Let’s finish this up.” Katherine tries to gently pull me in the direction of the counter, but I can’t do it. I have to go talk to Rhett. I have to let him know that I didn’t know, that I’m sorry for triggering him on a day that’s supposed to be about his family coming together.
I sniff back my tears and smile in her direction.
“If it’s okay, Katherine, I think I’m going to go find Rhett.”
I don’t stick around to hear what anyone has to say on the matter. I take off upstairs and eventually find him sitting in what I assume is his old room. He’s sitting on the double bed in the far corner, running his fingers over the soft cream fabric of the apron. He doesn’t even look up when I knock.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
At that, his head finally lifts. He’s not crying, but he looks like he could.
“I, uh—” He sits up straight and takes a deep breath. “I had every intention of apologizing to you today.”
“What for?” I step into the room.
“Last night. Yellin’ at ya like you were a child.” He huffs and rolls his eyes. “And then I go and do this.”
I sit down next to him on the bed, pulling one leg up so that I can face him. He smells like he’s freshly showered and wearing some kind of woodsy cologne. I want to bury my nose in his T-shirt and breathe him in.
“I didn’t know it was Addie’s,” I say quietly. And then I push my luck. “When did she pass?”
“About eight years ago. She was seventeen. Lungs just couldn’t take it any longer.” He looks at me quickly before turning back away. “Cystic fibrosis. She needed a lung transplant, but those lists are five miles long, and nothing came in time.”
I fight the urge to reach out and touch him. This isn’t my grief, but I feel it like it is. I can feel the pain he’s holding on to, and it makes my throat clog with emotion. Especially when he sniffs like he’s holding back tears.
“For years, I prayed that another human being would die so that my sister could live.” He gives me another humorless laugh. “How fucked-up is that?”
“You wanted your sister to live, Rhett.”
“So badly that I wish someone else would lose theirs. I watched her wither away right down that hall.” He points out the bedroom door. “She was on meds to manage the pain, but once she decided she didn’t want to hold on any longer, we all stood around her while she took her last breaths. We didn’t want her to feel alone.”
“I’m so sorry.”
What else can I say? Sorry is so inadequate. Against my better judgment, I reach out. My hand lands on his strong forearm, causing his muscles to twitch. My very pale hand sticks out against his tanned olive skin like a beacon, but I like the look of it there. And when he reaches over and lays his hand on top of mine, my heart almost leaps out of my chest.
