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My feelings didn’t make any sense. Everything I felt and thought contradicted each other until nothing I was saying or doing made sense even to me. I tossed and turned for over an hour but still couldn’t sleep.
I flung off my covers with a huff and tossed my legs over the bed.Maybe a glass of wine will help me sleep.
I walked through the living room, toward the kitchen, when movement on the balcony caught my attention, causing me to jump. A second look confirmed that Enzo was outside on the balcony. I took a small blanket from the couch and wrapped it around my shoulders before stepping out onto the balcony.
As I passed the small table and chairs, I spotted an empty bottle of bourbon tipped over on its side.
"You've been drinking." I picked up the empty liquor bottle and sat it upright. "A lot."
"And?" His voice was angry.
"Enzo," I implored him, as I joined him at the railing, but he kept his gaze somewhere out over the sparkling lights of the city below.
"I can't do it again. I can't—"
"Do what again?" I asked in bemusement.
"Care."
"You can’t care? Well, yeah. You made that very clear." I was still angry from earlier, but I’d wished I hadn’t had been so snippy when he was finally opening up.
But just like that, something shifted. His eyes hardened at me and sent a shiver down my limbs.
"You did this." His words were harsh, and it sent my flight response into full gear.
I tried to pull away but his grip on my shoulders only tightened. "Did what? What did I do?" I struggled against his grip, but it was no use.
"You made me care. Caring makes you vulnerable. I can't…"
"Is that why you keep sex so impersonal? So, you won't feel?"
"It's the only way. The only way not to feel. Not to betray—" he cut off his words and even through the fear my curiosity got the better of me.
"Not to betray who?"
He shook his head wildly. He was not the Enzo I'd known.
"Enzo, it's okay. You can let yourself feel."
"No. I can't. Feeling means pain. I won't feel anything for you. I can't."
"Enzo." My voice was softer, my heart aching for him.
"No," he barked, and I jumped. "You're just another girl. Just another whore who means nothing."
Even though what we had was supposed to be just business, the harshness of his tone cut me to the bone. Tears burned my eyes, but I blinked them back. "You don't mean that. It's the alcohol. You'd never be this cruel—"
"I am a monster. I have to be, or monsters come after anything I care about." Enzo growled and used his grip on my shoulders to turn me roughly toward the railing. "Enzo, what are you doing? You're scaring me."
"Good. You should be scared.” He pinned me to the railing with his hard body. “I'm not a man to love. I'm a man to fear. To care about me, means death."
"Enzo, please? You're not a monster. And I do care about you."
"You're just a whore. You mean nothing. This means nothing." Enzo was crazed as he scrambled to lift my oversized shirt to my waist.
I struggled against him in vain. "Enzo stop. What are you doing?"
"You agreed, anywhere, any time." He growled, fumbling for a moment until his shaft pressed hard at my entrance. “Unless you want out of the contract. You can walk away right now, but it will be with nothing.” His voice was cruel and only fueled my anger.
