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I am starving. I haven’t eaten all day, and despite the hunger strike I inspired, I need some food. Besides, I had technically achieved what I wanted. Kha’zeth did try to take me to see the other women.
Making my way downstairs, I can only smile when I find the triplets in the kitchen, pulling out food that had been stashed away in the cupboards. Elincia spots me first, and she freezes with a sweet pastry in her mouth.
It falls to the ground, and she instantly looks guilty. I can only laugh.
“You can eat,” I tell her, stepping in closer. “I was just coming to get something, myself.”
“We were going to set up a spread in the sitting room,” Valindra tells me. “You’re more than welcome to join. We’d love to hear how it went.”
At her words, my heart sinks, and I’m reminded again of how I did nothing of consequence. I don’t know what happened to my friends, and I can’t help them.
I’m not sure if they see it on my face, but Tanulia, ever the quiet one, wraps her arm around my shoulders and guides me into the sitting room. The other two are already setting up food that had been packed away from this morning, and I see some leftovers from the night before. Honestly, I didn’t know any of the food was kept. I kind of thought Kha’zeth just made all the food appear and disappear.
Thank the gods that’s not the case or we’d all be miserable right now.
“So,” Elincia starts as she stuffs her mouth full. “Was everyone so excited about the food?”
She hasn’t seemed to pick up on my mood change like her sister, but Valindra squeezes her shoulder. “Elincia,” she hisses before turning her focus back to me. “Natalie, is everything okay?”
I shake my head, staring down into my lap. Tanulia still sits beside me, not touching but offering her support and I appreciate it. “They’d been moved, and I don’t know where. Kha’zeth left without a word.” I blow out a long breath, wondering what got him so worked up. “I’m really worried about them, though. I want to help them, and no one will tell me where they are so I can see them and make sure they are alright.”
Tanulia squeezes my shoulder, and Elincia bounces forward. “We’ll find them!”
“I’m sure Kha’zeth will be able to pull some strings for you,” Valindra assures me. “He’s very resourceful. Just trust him, and you’ll see your friends in no time.”
I nod, but my heart still aches. It pains me to swallow this uncertainty, to sit and wait when I don’t know what everyone else is going through.
“Here.” Tanulia is so quiet as she pushes a plate into my hands laden with food. Calm just radiates off of her. “You need to eat.”
I look up at her, then the other two. They are so young, and yet, they are here, helping me bear this burden until their uncle returns. “Thank you,” I tell them, my voice barely more than a whisper as emotion constricts my throat.
“Yeah! Eat!” Elincia is already stuffing her face again. “Kha’zeth is really good at stuff like this. He’s super good with his magic. It’s why the King picked him to help with the raid on Protheka in the first place. He’ll be able to find your friends.”
I freeze, my blood running cold in my veins. “K-Kha’zeth, he helped with the raid?”
Tanulia looks to her older sister and then back to me. Neither of them seem to know what to think as my hands start to shake. It’s clear that Elincia didn’t think the passing comment would matter all that much. In fact, it was meant to reassure me. But instead, I feel shaken, my world rocked.
“He’s a powerful soz’garoth,” Valindra finally says.
“Yes! So powerful. Like this food. I love how he conjures it up for us. He can find the best delicacies. If you ever have a craving, you just tell him, and he’ll…” Elincia’s incessant chatter turns into a soft buzzing into my ears, and it makes my head hurt.
“Of course,” I murmur, my hands moving the plate from my lap. “Excuse me. I just need some water.”
I can feel eyes on me, but I don’t even know whose they are as I slip from the sitting room. Elincia is still droning on and I hear Valindra answer at some point. Other than their distinctive tones, though, I’ve drowned out all the words.
My breath is coming in harsh gasps as I relive the shocking statement over and over. Kha’zeth was involved in the raid. He was chosen to help. He is part of the reason I am here.
He is part of the reason Toklys is dead.
No, he is the reason.
A shudder rocks through me as grief hits anew. Toklys died defending the encampment, defending me, and it killed to know that not only did he lose his life because of me but that I’ve shared a bed with his killer.
I throw a hand out, pressing it to the wall in an effort to steady myself. Nausea roils through me. I gave myself over to Kha’zeth. I trusted him with parts of me I’ve only ever let Toklys have.
What have I done? I’ve dishonored my love, a dark elf of true honor and generosity. And for what? For a demon who was forced to take me, to breed me, and he just happened to be nice enough to feed me?
Another wave of nausea hits me. Does Kha’zeth know?
