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I open the top of the crystal decanter and pour a stiff shot of brandy into a glass and take a long guzzle, wondering how I’ll ever be able to satisfy his desires. How I can give him even half of what he would have with another vampire in the bedroom?
"Easy there."
I almost jump out of my skin. Roman sits in a large wing back chair in the corner of the dimly lit room with a drink of his own in his hand. "You okay?"
I nod. "Nothing that a little alcohol and a good long sleep won't cure."
His eyes knit, and his foot crosses over his knee. "You don't really seem convinced of that. Trouble in paradise?”
“I couldn’t sleep. It’s probably the fact that it’s broad daylight outside. I’m still adjusting to sleeping during the day.”
“Liar.”
My eyes narrow, but then I sigh. It’s not the worst thing in the world to get these things off your chest. Lord knows it would have saved me a ton of pent-up grief if I had talked to someone sooner about my concerns about my ex instead of pushing them down. “It’s just the whole vampire, human thing that keeps raising its ugly head, mostly in my mind. I’ll finish this drink, and everything will look better tonight.”
He nods. “Angel and Trentino will be here with the others tonight. I'm sure she'd be willing to talk to you about everything that she went through in her relationship with Trentino before and after she was turned. She seems to have embraced her new life wholeheartedly, and in all honestly, I’ve never seen her happier.”
I put my empty glass down on the marble bar with a thud. “Of course, but, well, I'm not turned. I'm a human, and he's a vampire. I would jump at the chance to be turned, but that’s not likely to happen these days. From what I understand, at least from Angel, there have been too many turned in the recent years that the consulate wants to put a stop to it.” I sigh… “It might be helpful to talk to her about how she felt when they were dating. I mean, she had to be going through some of the things that I'm going through.”
Roman nods and walks toward me, refilling his drink and then puts a little bit of the hard stuff he’s having into mine. He leans in close and says, “Talk to her. I’m sure she’ll be able to help. It’s good advice, advice that I should take myself. There’s a woman back in the States that I’ve wanted to make mine for as long as I can remember.”
“What’s holding you back?”
“She’s like family, my sister’s best friend. We’ve practically grown up with each other, and she deserves better than me. She’s as sweet and clean as they come. She owns a bakery, actually makes those little pastries and cupcakes for a living.”
I laugh because he of all people should know that I already know exactly who he’s talking about, but yet he’s as oblivious to anyone knowing his secret as I used to be. Far be it for me to put my nose where it doesn’t belong, especially in the affairs of the heart of another ex. “She sounds sweet. And you think you’re not good enough for her? Why don’t you let her decide that? And take some of your own advice, Mr. syndicate man, talk to your sister.”
He grins and clinks glasses with me. “You know, I just might do that.”
I laugh up at the man who towers above me with a lighter heart and smile. “And I, too, will take that advice.”
Chapter
Fifteen
Iwake, rolling and missing the warmth of Tansia's body lying next to me, glancing around the room. The clothes I removed from her are gone from the chair in the corner of the room.
I slide out of bed and shrug on my pants, walking bare footed and chested down the hall, before heading downstairs, following voices coming from the great room. I walk into the room just in time to see Roman pull back from Tansia, removing his hand from her shoulder and face from her ear as she smiles up at him.
There’s no reason to ask what’s going on because the look on Tansia's face tells me everything that I had already started to think about and innately knew. She may not be a gold digger like some of the other women I’ve contemplated relationships with, I know that. But how long is she going to be happy with someone like me before she’s looking for someone else, a human? Someone who doesn’t want to sink his fangs into the beating pulse of her throat to extend her orgasm or must remain hidden away during the light of day?
Why, time after time, I leave myself open to situations like this instead of just being happy without a serious relationship is beyond me. After so many failures you would think I wouldrealize that it just isn’t in the stars for me. Even if the Vade Mecum thinks it should be so.
If she wants a human syndicate boss, she can have him. Instead of saying one word of that to either of them, I walk past them and retrieve a quart of blood from the refrigerator. Perhaps to take the edge off, and perhaps to put a little fear into the human piece of trash who is a guest in my home, yet has the audacity to flirt with Tansia underneath my roof.
Roman gives me a nod. "I was just telling Tansia that she and Angel should talk. She knows what it's like to have feet in both of our worlds and care about those on either side."
I drain the quart of blood, wishing for one second that a drop of blood would spill down my chin, just like in the movies and on all the fantastic book covers. If only to put a little scare into the arrogant syndicate fuck.
“It’s a slippery slope caring for those different from oneself. It means making concessions, giving over wholeheartedly, and sacrificing things you’ve known and done all of your life to be with another. I can understand why that wouldn’t appeal to many,” I say, finishing my drink.
Tansia’s face pales, and her lips begin to quiver. “Would you both excuse me, please?”
I turn to Roman. “I’ll be in my study working on the plan for tonight.” I pull another quart of blood from the refrigerator to take with me. I don’t invite him because he’s not welcome. He’s lucky that Descallia wants us to keep relations open with him and his syndicate fuckers. I close the solid mahogany door, and guzzle half of the quart in one long swallow, trying to drown the thoughts running around in my mind about how a relationship between a human and a vampire would even really work. It would work, because I would make it work, but will she be happy? Truly happy, giving up so much of her life?
The plan for tonight has been in my mind for hours. Swirling around so much since that it takes less than an hour to put it to pen and paper. I close the door to my study on the way out, passing through the great room and finding it empty this time, before going back upstairs to get some rest, hoping this time it will come.
Tansia is already asleep, nestled into her pillow so far onto her own side that I think she may fall off if she breathes too deeply. I cover her frame with the blanket, just observing her beauty for a long moment before shrugging out of my clothes and joining her in my bed.
