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I can barely keep my eyes open, but I don’t want to close them. There is something in his expression that is pulling me in, making me want to be there for him, to comfort him as he is comforting me, making me want to take away the pain and distress etched on his handsome face, but I don’t know how to do that.
I know I hurt him when I told him I did not remember about last night, but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't change it. Last night is a total blank right now. "I'm so sorry," I whisper.
“Don’t be, love,” he tells me firmly, his soulful eyes searching my face intently and getting stormier by the second. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. I promise. But not right now. You need to rest a bit.”
I sigh, wishing I could contradict him about my present condition, but I do feel terrible, and I do need a nap. I can feel the headache still hammering away in my head. "We really need to talk, Wel— Devon.”
I see his jaw unclench when I say his name, and I smile up at him.
I am so messed up right now. Nothing seems to make sense.
His care, his sweetness, and his passionate side especially are the things that I can’t reconcile with the kind of man I know him to be.
I have to know what this means. “You have been so sweet, so loving…”
He grins at me, his hands playing with my dark waves. "And that is, of course, very bad."
I shake my head. "You know what I mean. You're so different from the guy I fought with yesterday in that boardroom. The man I know is cold, closed-off, arrogant…" I trail off when I see his eyes clouding.
A big sigh leaves his chest. "Lynn, you don't understand. Ihaveto be like that. I spend every hour of every day dealing with sharks. If I showed them any weakness, they'd eat me alive. It's not about being arrogant. It's about showing confidence, sometimes even more than I really possess. It's just a matter of surviving in a bloodthirsty environment. That’s all. I’m the CEO and Vice President of a worldwide company that my family has spent the last hundred years building. The pressure is extreme. I have to watch everything I do and say. Even the slightest thing could be used against me. One little mistake, and I could lose it all. But this is me," he opens his arms wide. "This, right now, this is who I am. And I love you. I would never be like that with my family, my friends, or with you. Aside from our work-related spats, whenever have I been unkind to you?"
I mull it over, and I cannot think of a single occasion. "Never," I gulp, blinking several times. I'm surprised at his revelations and at how much sense he is making, and I also feel pretty emotional about the whole thing.
Suddenly, I'm starting to see what life must be like for Devon. How lonely it must be up high on the top where you have to keep most people at a distance while constantly being under the threat that even the closest ally could double-cross you.
Still, a part of him must like it all; otherwise, he would not put so much of himself into running his company.
I take a breath and look up at him, my lips on the side of his large hand, a smile dancing on them. “But you love it. Don’t deny it. You enjoy being the all-powerful billionaire boss.”
He laughs, the sexy sound making me shiver. "I won't deny it. I do enjoy my job. Who wouldn't? Welton Inc. is my legacy, and we do plenty of remarkable things, too."
“And you get to always have your way and order people around.”
He gives me a rakish grin. “Exactly.”
Then in the blink of an eye, his whole demeanor changes, darkening a little. "Although, I would enjoy it more if, at the end of the day, I could come home to you, Lynn."
I look away. “Devon…”
He lifts my chin with a finger, looking down at me, his defeated expression killing me. “You truly don’t recall anything, sweetheart? It was amazing… incredible.”
My eyelids flutter as an unexpected memory comes barrelling on.
I can see him pounding away at me; my back pressed to the door of his flat, my nails raking his shoulders, my head thrown back in pleasure.
“Fuck, baby. You feel amazing!”
“God, Devon! Your cock feels incredible! More… give me more…”
Did I really say that to him?
And did it feel as good as I’m remembering right now?
I feel myself flush from head to toe, the tips of my ears burning.
He studies me for a moment and then grins a little. “What?” he asks, “What just happened?”
I shake my head and look away from him. "I… I think your… um… turn of phrase triggered something, and I… I remembered some of it."
