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“I couldn’t do that to you or Val. I don’t know what I’m doing here, Corbin, but I want to explore it. You said you wanted a relationship, to build something. What if… what if I can do that with you and Val? What if we can be something like JJ, Greer, and my brother have?”
That time I stood. This was going too far too fast. “You’re hurting. You poured your heart out to Val and me. You told us about your past, one you haven’t talked about in a long time. You’re feeling raw right now. Val and I were the ones who were there for you. I’m not surprised you formed an attachment to us, but you said you wanted to be friends. Notbewith us.”
Xaiden stood. He was much calmer this time, approaching me like I was the one who needed calming. I guess I did because I started to shake. I couldn’t get attached to him only to have it end. Him or Val. At least I knew Val was on the same page as me and didn’t approach me out of a deep-seated need to be connected to another person.
“Corbin, stop.”
“Stop what?” My back hit the wall. I didn’t realize I was walking in reverse.
“You’re trying to protect yourself. I understand. What I’m feeling, this emotion inside of me, it’s not friendship. It’s desire. I didn’t recognize it at first. I was up all night after I left here, tossing and turning. My cock was hard as a rock. I fantasized about you and Val. I got off with your names on my lips.”
“Fuck,” I breathed out. My whole body trembled with want, need, fear, I didn’t even know what else.
“I’m so far out of my element, but I want more with you both.”
“Both?”
He nodded. “I’m scared. I’m not going to lie. You and Val could destroy me. I haven’t let anyone in like this in decades. Feeling your hands on me, the way you held me, ran your fingers over my skin, goddamn, I want you to do it again. I have to know it wasn’t a fluke. That what I’m feeling is real.” Xaiden closed the distance between us. His lips a breath away from mine.
A loud bang echoed through the night outside. I instantly recognized it as one of my neighbor’s cars backfiring. I’d told him repeatedly to take it to JJ’s shop.
Xaiden didn’t know what it was though. His arms came around me and he pushed me to the floor. We hit it hard, jarring me, knocking my glasses askew. Luckily, his hand on my head kept it from connecting with the floor.
He squeezed me tight; his body wrapped around mine as he shook.
I couldn’t move, couldn’t lift my hand to ease him. “Xaiden,” I said gently. “It was my neighbor’s car backfiring.”
Wide eyes met mine. “A car?”
“Yes. It was just a car.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “It happens every Monday through Friday at this time. He works the late shift at a warehouse.”
He released a breath and fixed my glasses, then dropped his forehead to mine. “I thought it was a gunshot. Everything flashed in front of me. I can’t lose anyone else. I can’t.” His hold on me loosened, so I was able to roll us to our sides. I could take a lot; however, Xaiden was heavy.
I lifted my hand to brush his hair off his forehead. “We’re okay. I promise.”
He tucked his face against my neck. It was my turn to hold him. Xaiden would have laid his life down for mine. He was strong, determined. In a fight, I knew he’d win. Now, with the reality of what happened crashing down on him, I was waiting for him to flee. He was vulnerable again, his emotions on the surface.
“Don’t run,” I begged. “Please.”
A barely-there kiss brushed against my throat before Xaiden started his retreat. I tried to hang on, but he carefully pried my arms off him. “I should go.”
“Don’t.”
“I need space.”
“Xaiden.”
“Do you have to work this weekend?”
“No, I have it off.”
“Friday night.” He paused to swallow and avert his eyes. “Can you and Val meet me at my house?”
“I’ll ask him.”
