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Chapter1
Macy
Crickets chirp endlessly as I sit at the end of the long driveway extending from my ranch house to the unmarked road. The heat wafts from the gravel drive, making the air shimmer, and I can feel the hastily applied makeup gracing my skin melting. It would have been so much faster to have just driven myself.
Mom and Dad’s car appears at last, and as I slide into the back passenger seat, my mother stuffs a breakfast burrito in my hand.
“Mom, I ate inside. I’m fine,” I say as I struggle with the seat belt one-handed. “And for the millionth time, you don’t need to pick me up. I’m fully capable of driving myself.”
“Let me still feel like a parent. You’ve done so much taking care of me. It’s supposed to be the other way around.”
I sigh. There’s no arguing with that one. Between doctor’s appointments, prescription refills, and managing the financial load for her, I’ve been the bigger mom of the two of us for a while. Imagining my life without her made it an easy choice, though.
“You know your mom just likes to help,” Dad says from the driver's seat, eyeing me through the rearview mirror.
Shaking my head with a smile, I reach forward. “Well, thank you, then.”
I take a big bite out of the burrito, one of the fool-proof recipes my mom’s been able to keep making despite the chemo fatigue. My throat tightens, and I know I’m overstuffing my stomach, but god it does taste delicious, packed with memories of laughter-filled breakfast tables.
“So, how’s work been, sweetie?” Dad’s eyes return to the road, and I force down another swallow of the egg and cheese burrito. “Your boss still treating you well?”
“Yes. He’s nice. Keeps me busy filling his schedule and answering calls.”
“Glad you enjoy it.” Mom’s voice is light and jovial from the front, thrilled that she’s gotten me to eat more.
Adjusting in my seat and trying my best to hide the remainder of the food in a napkin I found in the car door, I roll my eyes. Enjoy is a bit of a stretch. Todd is a decent human and all, but spending eight hours a day behind a desk and fielding questions about plastic surgery isn’t exactly my dream job. The pay is okay, though you’d expect it to be better, considering the doctor’s salary. A fact that I most definitely have kept from my parents.
“And what about any new boys, Macy? Is there anyone you’d like to bring home for dinner?”
I choke on my last bite. Covering my sputtering cough with my elbow, I shake my head vigorously. “No, no, no. I don’t have time for that kind of stuff, Dad. By the time I get home, I’m just too beat. Plus… Never mind.”
The car goes silent. I don’t need to fill in the blanks for them. My folks are all too aware that I’ve sacrificed my former relationships to help care for Mom. Sure, she’s in remission now, but after two years of treatment, it became my whole life. And while it didn’t bode well for my friendships or dating, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
We drive the last few blocks without speaking, rounding the corner to our rustic, small-town church when the light goes green. As we pull in and park, my mother stops abruptly and spins to face me just before we go inside.
“Oh, I forgot. I have an upcoming scan. It’s a week from today. Nothing fancy, just checking in.”
My chest pinches. It’s just a routine scan. The doctors are just going to check and see that it’s gone. That’s it.
Bile swirls up, and my head feels stretched too big, sweat dressing my brow. Tunneling pricks the edge of my vision, and I force deep breaths into my lungs. The adrenaline isn’t receding, a panic attack bubbling up from the depths, ready to breach my otherwise cheerful surface.
What if it’s back? What if she’s sick again? I can’t pay those bills again. Christ, I didn’t pay them in the first place! I still owe, and I still can’t pay.
My thoughts spiral as I struggle to bite down on my panic. Breathing, I need to focus on breathing.
“Oh, don’t be such a worry wart, Macy.” Dad slaps me on the shoulder and walks my mother inside. “Doctor’s just going to root around with that fancy ultrasound thing, so he can charge our insurance and keep that money rolling in. He’s got another Benz to buy, after all.”
It’s a few minutes before I can go inside, but I manage to calm myself enough to blend in with the crowd. When I open the doors and walk to the waiting area just outside the church proper, only a few parishioners are there. We’re always here early so Mom can set up at the piano.
Right on cue, I hear the sound of her beautiful playing, soulful and reverent, and look inside the chapel to see her seated at her beloved baby grand, smiling and humming along with the tune. I head to the front pews, eager to sit down and avoid speaking to anyone.
That’s when I see the stranger standing off to the side in the back corner.
Someone new?That’s a change and one that frankly, is much needed. I love it when our little community branches out from just the families I’ve grown up with. I’ve heard all their stories a million times, and fresh ideas and faces are just the thing for that.
I set my purse down on the pew and turn to welcome our new member to the church. It only takes a few steps for me to realize that the man is somehow familiar. I’m sure I’ve seen him before, but I can’t place it. The store? Red’s bar on a half-price night? No, that’s not it.
Then it clicks, and my stomach falls through the floor.
