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“With Sammy? I don’t know, man. I think, if he really is someone you care for, you should try harder to show him how you feel. The simplest way I can put it is, he came to you, now it’s your turn to go to him and show him that you give a shit. There is no way you really believe he came back and stayed, just because of that book?”
Logan shook his head. “I know it wasn’t just for that, but when I’m feeling so much self-doubt things get out of control pretty quickly and I can’t always get a grip.”
“You better make sure you stay on top of your appointments then and call him. Just talk it out. If you feel you didn’t take enough interest in what was happening in his life, maybe make a mental note to adjust your own attitude when you guys are together. That should be the first thing you ask about every single time, until your relationship evolves into something different, and those questions come about more naturally.”
Logan gave him a curious look. Of all the people in his life, he had doubted Dave the least in terms of accepting his sexuality and his relationship with Sammy. Even so, his friend had surprised him by being on board with everything right away, without batting an eyelash, and he couldn’t help but wonder about it.
There had been a time, when they were teenagers, he had considered telling Dave he didn’t think he was entirely straight, but the conversation had dwindled and died quickly as soon as Logan had sensed Dave had become very uncomfortable. It had been years since then and his friend had been by his side through thick and thin.
They had shared adventures, and dreams of the future. They had been there for the happiest moments of each other’s lives. It had not seemed important to broach the subject again, nor had it made him doubt how solid their friendship was. However, nothing would be the same between them and he needed to say what was on his mind. Without any doubt, that Dave would support him.
“So, you don’t care that Sammy is a guy? It doesn’t bother you that I just told you I’m falling for him. That I want to be with him.”
“Why would it? If he makes you happy, I’ll bring him back to you myself. Love is love, and life is too short to hold back for the sake of the opinions of other people.”
Dave looked away and rubbed his tired face. With a heavy sigh he muttered, “I remember. I remember you tried to tell me, but I couldn’t…I panicked, because I was just a dumb kid and didn’t know how to be there for you. I think I had figured out on my own, that there was something different about you, but you were my best friend. I was terrified you would tell me you maybe had feelings for me, and I just didn’t see you that way. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, so instead of letting you tell me what bothered you, I chose to pretend I was too thick-headed to understand.”
Logan tried to say something, but Dave, squeezed his knee and chuckled. “Relax, I know you don’t have the hots for my pasty ass, okay? I figured it out even back then, but I was too embarrassed to say something. You and Sophy got together shortly after. It didn’t seem like it mattered anymore. You guys were so happy. I guess I convinced myself I had imagined the whole thing.”
He looked relieved and Logan couldn’t help but smile at him, at ease that yes, Dave had known this about him for so long and he hadn’t cared one bit. “Thank you,” he muttered, still smiling. “I needed to hear this. You’ve given me so much, and I know, I shouldn’t have ever doubted you but…” he trailed off, unsure he had the right words at hand to express his feelings. He looked at his friend sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders.
Dave nodded then sighed. “So have you. Always. Our friendship is about so much more than giving and taking. But if I have to put it plainly, Logan, take what you need whenever you need it. Please don’t doubt me – anything you need, I’ll gladly give it to you.” He then grinned and added, “I know you might not necessarily feel this way, but I don’t think you would get much shit from your parents either.”
Logan chuckled. “You sure about that?”
“Hear me out now. Debbie might be a bit overbearing, and Lucas might be having a hard time finding the right words, but they all just want you to be happy. Give them a chance to find their place back in your life.”
Logan sighed. “I guess it’s a good thing it’s Monday tomorrow.”
“Yep. You can start by shoveling your shit in the doctor’s office nice and early, and I’ll be right there for you buddy, cheering you on! But today, I want you to get your coat on and come with me so we can check your truck. Can’t let you drive to New York in that mice nest, without at least replacing the oil.”
CHAPTEREIGHT
Sammy
Driving back to New York felt like this messed up sick déjà vu. Yeah sure, Sammy should have been honest with Logan and told him everything before going to bed with him, but how the hell was it suddenly this bad that they were apart again. All because of the stupid book!The stupid book that is still in his goddamn house! Fuck!
The thought of going back to his empty apartment was too depressing, so he called James.
“I messed up. Can we talk? Are you at your place?”
“Yeah…sure, I just…”
Sammy could hear muffled voices and then some hissing whispering that sounded awfully like Danika threatening James.
“Look if this is a bad time––”
“No, it’s fine. I wasn’t doing anyone…uh, I mean, anything important.” James chuckled.
He heard another hiss.“Fuck you!”This time he was sure the voice belonged to Danika.
“James, are you about to get murdered?” He laughed, because this wouldn’t be the first time, things between Danika and James would go batshit crazy.
“Nah…Danika is a bit tied up at the moment.” A loud groan followed, and James yelled, “You crazy––” then the phone call was over and no matter how many times Sammy called him back, there was no answer.
He drove to James’s apartment building expecting to find at least one dead body and a bunch of police cars. As he rushed through the lobby, he saw Danika was just exiting the elevator. She was wearing a thick grey fur coat, reaching all the way down to her ankles, paired with thigh-high fuck-me stiletto boots and some lacy barely there ensemble, and James’s aviator hat. She was a horrifyingly scary sex bomb – legs for days, olive skin, black long straight hair and green eyes. She shoved past him angry as hell and he knew better than to get in her way and try to stop her. Sammy hurried up to get into the elevator and rushed to check on James.
The elevator had a private code for James’s place and the doors slid open directly into his living room. He stepped inside the luxurious home, calling his name, but his friend was nowhere to be seen. Small drops of blood trailed from the front door in the direction of the staircase leading to the second floor. He hurried to James’s bedroom, only to find his friend calmly cleaning his bloodied chest in his bathroom. “James are you okay? What the hell happened? Did she really stab you?”
