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Bran is engrossed in a picture book Ty has bought him on the way in. It has stickers – Rian's secret weapon. Something about the sticky surface and transferring the small images from page to page gets Bran’s attention like nothing else.
Ty is so meticulous in his execution. The tip of his tongue poking from the corner of his mouth as he goes about the task with the utmost seriousness. They work as the cutest team. Bran points to his chosen sticker and Ty carefully peels it off and places it within the contours of the next location with surgical precision.
Rian can't help but grin at them.
When he gets up to follow Toni, their eyes meet. Toni smiles at him, barely holding back an audible ‘aww’.
Toni is simply fantastic. She makes a quick joke about Tayida and Rian goingoff circulation, while she takes samples – blood, urine, swabs – the full works. She makes another remark about open relationships, but Rian doesn’t know what else to do but mumble something non-committal and look away. She doesn’t pry further or question him otherwise when Rian simply hums or gives her yes or no answers to her open-ended questions.
Obviously, she wants Rian to give her a little bit more information about his relationship, and sexual history so she can do her job. He knows that. Even so, it doesn’t make it any less difficult to talk about his terrible experiences with Harris Kelly.
They sit down at her desk, getting on with the final part of her examination. When some of the mandatory questions from Toni’s list make him feel a bit overwhelmed, she hits the pause button and changes the subject so he can regain his faculties.
Finally, he gathers his resolve and tells Toni the honest truth, “My previous partner was…is very violent. I’ve only had unprotected sex with him. I don’t know if he was being sexually active with other men while we were together. Ty is my current partner and I want to make sure I’m not putting him in any danger.” He knows he can’t blame himself for being forced through the traumatic sexual fantasies of Harris against his will. Yet it makes Rian feel dirty and ashamed. Like he had a say in it at all. Like there was something about him, that had attracted and encouraged this type of predatory behavior – starting from his bitter childhood, all the way up to his adulthood. Like he has chosen to be treated that way or that he might have given any indication, that he was enjoying it.
Harris Kelly has been his only other sexual partner up until Tayida. Before their lives collided, Rian had not allowed another man to do more than kiss him or hold him. Harris had taken the gift of his innocence and had tortured Rian by using his inexperience against him. His manipulative approach has twisted Ri’s entire perspective on sex and intimacy.
Toni’s eyes look sad. Rian is sure she’s heard it all before, but she still looks compassionate and understanding. She looks like she fucking cares and that’s more than enough to put him at ease.
“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I would like to give you the contact details of a psychologist who works with victims of sexual abuse.” She seems unsure about her next words but presses on anyway. “This specialist is local, but somehow, I don’t think you are. If you need to ensure extra privacy, all you need to do is let them know that and they will keep your records of attendance off the books. It’s a volunteer service they provide at a local community health center.”
Rian bobs his head, “I’ll think about it.” It’s a lot. He isn’t sure he can allow himself the vulnerability to tackle that trauma while they are currently trying to provoke Harris Kelly to go after them openly.
But one day, hopefully soon, he wants to follow Toni’s advice and work through his emotional damage with the help of a professional.
Toni lets the conversation die out with that and moves on to lighter topics.
They talk about organic lubes, douches, after-care and how to adequately check on your partner, during and after intercourse. She tells him a couple of funny stories to lighten the mood. Rian is so profoundly grateful for her kindness and her understanding, professional attitude.
They part, with Toni offering to email them the results as soon as they come through, provided there is nothing else they need to discuss.
Two days later the verdict is in – they both get a clean bill of health. Toni has attached a brochure about PrEP and their prescriptions with a list of local pharmacies that provide it.
She’s given Rian the contact information of the community health center and the name of the specialist she had mentioned to him during their appointment.
Tayida is reading the contents of the email over his shoulder. They are sitting on the floor, Rian between Tayida’s thick thighs, leaning back, fully enjoying being enveloped in the powerful torso of his lover. Ty’s kissing his shoulder, humming and happily taking in Rian’s scent.
“Do you feel better now? Relieved?”
“Yeah.” Rian sighs and turns his head slightly for a kiss.
Tayida tucks him in closer, squeezing his midsection. “I love you.”
Rian huffs a laugh as the air is squeezed out of him “I love you.”
That gets Bran’s attention and he crawls to them. He’s been building something with great concentration in the middle of the living room. All his toys are piled up at the centre of the carpet.
Bran pauses midway and then pulls himself onto the edge of the couch. With a big grin plastered all over his face, he carefully cruises along the furniture to get to them.
They’re cheering him on, “That’s it, Bran! you’re doing it!” Ty is so excited.
“Go, baby! Dada is so proud of you,” Rian stretches his arms out and scooches a bit forward to meet him in a tight embrace. Bran lands safely on his lap giggling.
“Daaaadaa! Ty-ta!” He’s so loud and so proud of himself, they can’t stop laughing. Bran’s been working on his first steps for a while now, and it seems that any day now he might surprise them and stride into the kitchen on his own. He’s grown so much.
Ty pops him on his thigh so he can face both of them.
Rian can see his eyes have gone a bit watery even if he’s grinning with delight. Ri gets it – falling in love with his little boy is something Ty can’t fight. It’s inevitable.
