AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He takes a deep breath, pausing, collecting his thoughts as the raw memories from that night start flooding in. It was hard to go back to that day. Ty can feel Cy watching him. Their connection gives him strength.
“The whole time, this voice kept screaming in my head, over and over and over again,nobody needs you. Nobody cares if you breathe or if you live to see another day. Nobody cares. Just let go. Let it all go.The whole time I was struggling to keep my head above water, I was wondering …Why am I even here? Why the fuck do I keep holding on to life? What the fuck is there to even live for?”
Sebastian tightened his hold on him, comforting him in turn and Ty smiled into his sweaty hair and kissed his hairline again. “It’s okay, brother, this doesn’t end badly, I promise. I met someone amazing, and my life changed for the better. I found a purpose. A reason to wake up. I became stronger. I know exactly who I am. I know what I want. I’m not afraid anymore.”
“You could have told me,” Cyril mutters.
But Ty shakes his head. He closes his eyes and gives himself a moment to think.
“I never wanted you to doubt me. I never wanted you to hesitate and wonder if you could trust me with your life. I wanted you to be proud of me.”
“Always am, brother,” Cyril whispers.
It’s not like Ty doesn’t know it. It’s not like he doesn’t believe it. But the simple declaration always chokes him.
After another moment of comfortable silence, he continues with his story.
“Soon the storm was over, and I dragged myself safely back to the shore. I was exhausted, and I passed out on the beach. I woke up at dawn the next day, stiff as a rock, with cuts and bruises all over my body, a headache like I’d been on a colossal bender, and the most relieved I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I’d made it through the storm. I’d fought for myself, and I had won. I was ready to start living and stop wondering if I’m worth anything to anyone.”
He can feel Cyril's eyes on him and it warms him to know he is loved and cared for.
This moment isn’t about him though, even if he must bare all to show Sebastian he is willing to be vulnerable and honest just like Sebastian should be if he wants to get rid of whatever is eating him inside. Whatever Sebastian’s demons are, Ty is ready to stand by him and support him through his own journey of recovery.
Ty remains quiet for a moment, both he and Cy waiting, giving Sebastian time to think.
Sebastian rewards their patience, when after a short while, he quietly murmurs against Tayida’s chest, “How old were you when your dad died?”
Ty exchanged a glance with Cy. He nods in encouragement.
“I was seventeen,” Ty answers him.
Sebastian hums quietly over Ty’s chest, the rumbling feeling vibrating under his fingers. “My dad died when I was fifteen.” Sebastian takes a shaky breath. “His name was Thomas, and he was killed in a training accident during a fire drill at the Massachusetts base. He was an instructor. Range master. He was...he was everything I had.” He went quiet for a long time after that. Ty let him sort through his thoughts.
“Where did you go after your father died? Where was your mom?” Sebastian asks.
Jesus, he sounds like a boy.
So much of whom he pretends to be has been stripped from him. The way he clings to Ty is heartbreaking.
Sebastian’s voice is trembling and quiet, barely a whisper, his face still hidden in Ty's chest. He is trying. He is opening up. The responsibility to help weighs heavy on Ty’s shoulders but it feels right. Like it’s meant to be.
“My mom had left the country the year before my dad died. She was convinced I was too old to need her. I didn't really go anywhere. I couch-surfed until graduation, then I spent a summer at my dad’s cabin. As I told you, it wasn’t the best decision – living all by myself like a hermit, the whole place really fucked with my head. Too many memories. Not a soul for miles. I came back to Jacksonville to look for work and enlisted in the Army instead.”
“Then you had to deal with my idiotic crap. I was such a colossal dick to you.” Sebastian whimpers.
Ty stays quiet, because yes it was true. Sebastian had been insufferable. But if he must be honest with himself, Ty has already forgiven him. Before he could reassure Sebastian it’s all water under the bridge, Cyril does it for him.
Cy grasps Sebastian’s shoulder, and this time he doesn’t shrug him off. Cy doesn’t push it though, he lingers only a few seconds and then gives him a reassuring pat. “Don't think about that shit. Those days back in basic training, the stuff that was said and done – forget it. I know where your mind is going to take you, and I’m telling you right now – stop it. None of that shit matters now. Not gonna hurt you. No retaliation. All is forgiven. You were hurting and my guess is you had no one.” He pointedly meets Ty's eyes. They are in perfect sync when he says with conviction, “We had each other. From day one.”
Ty smiles and fuck if the weight of the past few years of crap between him and Sebastian doesn't lift. Cyril couldn't have said it any more plainly – no matter what shit they had been through, they had each other, while Sebastian had clearly been on his own. Sure, he had his cronies in training, but those losers were simple brown noses, to say the least. They followed him around, kissing his ass, hoping his connections might come in handy someday. Sebastian's name – the family he came from, being a “legacy” did him no favors. His name was Sebastian Scott – but the family he came from was legendary – Kelly.
Harris Kelly was currently running the show on base. That should have been the time Sebastian could get away with anything, but he seemed fucking miserable. The more Ty thought about it, the more it seemed fucking weird that he was falling apart and trying to get out of active duty, struggling every day, instead of running rampant under the protection of his uncle.
Tayida suspects the pressure of coming from this big military family follows Sebastian everywhere and perhaps the stress to exceed expectations with his performance was finally getting to him after several tours of active duty.
Sebastian murmurs against his chest, “My mother was into drugs on and off all her life. She couldn't stay off that poison for long enough for the rehab treatments to stick. Dad made everything bearable. When she was okay, we had some great times. There were months at a time when we were a normal family and fucking happy. Looking back at it, it is like he was frantically trying to cram as many good memories into the brief periods she wasn’t taking anything so I would have wholesome experiences to remember our family by.”
Sebastian's breathing has calmed down, but Ty isn't in a hurry to pull him away from the comfort of their embrace. Ty will let him have it for as long as he needs it. Sebastian clearly requires the care, as his hold on Ty hasn’t loosened one bit.
