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CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Rian, Ri, Ree-ahn
AUGUST 2022
Rian walks into his office, annoyed at the blank spot in his mind, where all his ideas for his current project are supposed to be. He sits at his work desk and props the baby monitor on the edge, looking at his son napping. Bran is the cutest baby in the world.
There is no convincing him otherwise. He loves his little boy to bits. Even when his son is sleeping, Rian wants to go back to his nursery and give him a few more “last” cuddles and kisses.
He sighs and after another long moment of idle gazing through his large glass-feature wall, he begins drafting a familiar image. His hands move over the thick white paper seamlessly as he knows the lines, he must follow to uncover the air of his desires by heart. Ri always goes back to this particular memory when he feels stuck creatively.
His drawing begins with the curve of full lips, and the defined cupid bow of a tempting mouth. The arch of the lips is always barely teasing a faint smile.
Soon familiar dark eyes are looking back at him from his drawing pad. The sight evoking both happiness and desperation.
“Where are you,my beloved?” he murmurs to himself. Rian loves the meaning of Ty’s name. From the moment his brother confides the private tidbit of information about Ty, it is forever ingrained in his mind.
Rian forces himself to think about the last time he’s seen Ty at Cyril's funeral almost four years ago. He replays the moment Harris whisked him away from Ty over and over and over again, hating himself for allowing it. Hating himself for being so convinced he had needed Harris at all. Hating himself for not holding on to Ty for dear life, just like Cyril had told him to.
Tayida is the only person you can trust.
Cyril had sworn him to seek Tayida out and stay close to him, mere days before his death.
But Ty disappeared, and no matter how much Ri stalked his social media, there was no sign of activity on any of his accounts. His last entries had been weeks before the funeral and it horrified Rian to no end what the worst possible scenario might be – that Ty had gone back overseas and had been killed.
At first, he blamed himself for Ty’s absence. If he hadn’t told him he loved him, if he hadn’t pleaded for Ty to love him back, none of this would have happened. Ty would have stayed. Rian is sure of it.
Rian had called all the local hospitals, and a bunch of hotels he knew Ty would sometimes stay at. He dug out the info from his old rentals and still, nothing came up.
Rian had tried to get more information by going the official route but had been denied as they were not related in any way. He had considered it a lucky break when during one of his phone calls, he had chanced upon someone who could relate to his pain. Without disclosing more detailed information about Ty’s whereabouts, the person had simply confirmed, that according to their records, his friend was still alive.
Ri had tried to press his luck and begged for Ty’s location but the person on the other end of the line had stated his file was classified. This could only indicate Tayida was somewhere on location, and the details of the operations he must be involved in were highly classified. On a need-to-know basis, the dispatcher clarified.
Well, I fucking need to know,Ri had wanted to bite back, but had to force himself to remain calm just in case there was a chance the man took pity on him and was willing to reveal more about Ty’s location.
Unfortunately, no matter how much he implored the person on the other end of the line to understand his circumstances and give him something more or at least a way to contact Ty, they were adamant that wasn’t possible. They finally conceded that his file was out of their security clearance, and they had already said too much to Rian as it was.
Some of those missions could take years, the man explained to Rian. He had to hope Ty would contact him, once he was able, or that he had included Rian in the list of people to be notified in the case of his death.
He was ashamed to admit to himself, that after the funeral, he had simply assumed Ty needed space, that talking about Cyril might have been too painful for him. That whatever he had said to Ty on that day…well it had been terrible enough for him to refuse to see Rian again.
After a while, Rian had given into Harris’s passionate courtship and had fallen stupidly fast for him. When he was with Harris, everything around Rian simply felt fuzzy and muted. There didn’t seem to be any red flags. No glaring suspicious signs, that something could go wrong. Rian had been overwhelmed at the possibility of starting a family, and of not being so fucking lonely all the time.
The fact that someone so powerful and influential wanted him, had pursued him and courted him with so much devotion and dedication, had short-circuited all his reasoning. He had fallen for every fucking trick in the book – the late-night romantic calls, the spur-of-the-moment getaways, the mind-blowing sex that seemed to always revolve around Harris worshipping him, the elaborate thoughtful and yes, expensive gifts, and the unconditional support in his career.
Harris had gone as far as setting him up with publishing deals and a steady stream of jobs he was contracted to do seasonally. Rian had become a bit of a holiday children’s writer – Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Fourth of July, St. Patrick’s Day, and Halloween.
Those professional engagements kept him continuously busy throughout the year. The cast of animated characters he had come up with on that first project only kept growing and getting into all kinds of mischief, keeping his young readers craving more of their adventures.
His reach had become quite significant, so much so, the next projects he was interested in developing revolved around depicting same-sex couples and families in some of his books. Initially, the publishing house representing him had diplomatically turned down his ideas, citing the market wasn’t liberal enough for something so bold. At the time, Rian had been weirdly understanding of that explanation, but that only lasted up until his son came into his life.
Once he began thinking about the future, and the example he would like to set for Bran, giving up on his idea seemed unacceptable. He had gone back to negotiating, stating all the proceeds would be donated to various charities supporting reproductive rights as well as family planning for same-sex couples. The first cycle had been a smashing success despite the fact it hadn’t gotten even half the advertising budget his other projects received.
As it turned out, sometimes fate does play in mysterious ways. For example, a very prominent actor in a same-sex relationship, who had recently become a father himself, had been trying to find books for his children – books with more representation of families like his own. He had chanced upon Rian’s book and posted about it on his social media. The orders had gone through the roof pretty much overnight.
Several news outlets picked up on his new release and the five minutes of frantic media exposure he got were perfectly sufficient for his sales to hit new heights, allowing him to negotiate a more flexible contract regarding creative content. His agent had made snide comments about Rian risking losing loyal readers and essentially guaranteed profits. Rian had gathered all his resolve and had him fired.
He was in between agents now, but considering he was dedicated to raising Bran, he was glad of his currently empty schedule.
