Page 70 of Thick Girls Pole


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“Everything okay in there?”

“No, I think I’m dying.”

Granny Vi walked into the living room and looked at me curled up on the couch.

“It’s just your period. I think you’ll survive.”

“Have a little compassion. It feels like my uterus is tied into a knot, my boobs are killing me, and my lower back and thighs are achy.” I tightened my hold on the pillow. “Andit feels like there’s an ice pick jabbing up my hoo-ha.”

She settled into her recliner and turned on the TV.

“I thought your birth control pills took care of those issues.”

“They usually do. It’s been a long time since I had cramps like this and I forgot how much it sucks.”

“What do you think is going on?”

“I have no idea, but if it happens again next month, I’ll have to call my gynecologist.”

“Do you want something to eat or drink?”

“No thanks. I have tea and I’m not hungry. I’m just gonna take a nap and hope it goes away while I sleep.”

“How about aGilmore Girlsmarathon to fall asleep to? That always makes you feel better.”

“I’ll never say no to Luke and Lorelai.” I picked up my phone. “But first I have to call Simon and cancel our date tonight.”

She switched on Netflix to bring up the show while I dialed Simon.

“Hey Keera.”

“Hi.”

“What’s wrong?”

What a guy. I could have been bleeding out of my eyeballs and Brian wouldn’t have realized something was wrong. Simon knows after hearing one word over the phone.

“I have to cancel tonight. I’m not feeling well.”

“Oh no, what’s wrong?”

“I–”

I hesitated for a second for whatever reason. I’m sure Simon can handle hearing about my period issues.

“I’m exhausted and am having really bad cramps.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I appreciate the offer, but no. I’m going to take a nap, maybe watch TV.

Anjannette is covering my class and lessons tonight.”

“You must really feel bad if you’re not going to the studio.”

“Yeah, it sucks. I used to have issues like this when I was younger, but after I started taking birth control, the worst of it went away. So I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Shannon had similar problems when we were in high school and I remember how miserable it was for her.” He chuckled. “I also remember thediscussionabout whether or not she should go on birth control. My dad was afraid it would, and I quote, ‘give her permission’ to have sex.”

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