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patrem voco totis viribus;
Ibo ad longitudinem…
Imple eam vi et igni;
Da nobis desiderium cordis eius,
Sana corpus eius et animam eius;
Ut integer fiat…"
Awave like nothing I’ve ever felt before crashes into me. It feels like it's clawing at my insides, pulling at the illness, scraping at the disease, and my body spasms. Rachel holds me, sobbing, as another seizure is triggered.
I feel the goodness of her spell trying, fighting, begging to be let through, but my illness is like the ocean. No filling it with good clean water will make it what it is not; a salty bitch drowning out the life in me.
Refusing to release her grip on my fate.
“What’s going on?” Jax roars over the wind and sirens.
“We have to go to Evelyn!” Rachel shouts back, and she jerks the wheel of the truck so hard I worry Jax and Chase will fly out as she turns to climb the mountain into Silver Dawn territory. I’m seizing out of control and Rachel is holding me steady. I feel as if I’m not in my body, like I’m watching from the hood of the truck.
My eyes roll back, arms curling against my chest, legs flailing wildly. Jax is at the window, he breaks it, his hands are on my face, his finger in my mouth, and this time instead of biting my tongue I bite Jax. He holds me, keeps me from hurting myself, and Rachel slips her arm from around me and puts both hands on the wheel.
“Hurry…” Jax begs, his voice wavering with emotion.
The drive up the mountain feels like it takes a lifetime. Longer than any drive of my life, and the whole way I never stop seizing. When we pull in the drive the truck is surrounded. Hands are on me, pulling me out of the truck, and lights go by above me as I’m carried through the house.
There are so many voices, so many people shouting orders, but all I can focus on is the taste of Jax’s blood in my mouth as I gnaw spasmodically on his finger against my will. Paneled fleur de lis crown molding turns to bleach white ceilings and lights so bright they burn my eyes. There’s a man at my head, he pries Jax’s finger loose and someone quickly wraps it with gauze. The man is back, shoving something soft and squishy into my mouth. His eyes look sad, worried, hopeless.
I’m terrified.
“Killian, hold her steady!” I hear Evelyn order, and I feel two pairs of hands take each of mine in theirs. “Together now, Rachel,” Evelyn says calmly.
With their voices rising and falling in musical crescendo, they begin;
"Virtutem appello naturae;
matrem et omnes creaturas eius voco;
patrem voco totis viribus;
Ibo ad longitudinem…
Imple eam vi et igni;
Da nobis desiderium cordis eius,
Sana corpus eius et animam eius;
Ut integer fiat…"
It’s the same pleading spell that Rachel sang to me in the truck, but this time? This time the ocean that is my illness rear ups and roars back at them, thrashing against the confines of my body like an animal under attack. My back arches, a scream bubbles in my throat, and many hands run to the table and hold me down.
“Raina, Cassius, please!” a woman screams.
Was that Ruby?
To my surprise, my trembling begins to slow. Pain unwinds its death grip on my muscles. Cooling waters fill me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I take one breath, and another, and for the first time in my life there's no pain at all.
