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“Wash-wash your hands…oils…not good for…baby…” I gasp, and the fear in Ruby’s eyes makes me feel even more guilty for having an episode in front of strangers. She hauls herself up to her feet and washes her hands vigorously, silent tears rolling down her face.
“What do I need to know?” she asks, trying to remain calm, but panic is hitching her voice higher and higher.
“Medicinal oils…not enough to hurt…better safe… I’m so sorry…”
I watch relief flood her face, but I’d never forgive myself if something happened to a child because of me. Cookie reaches over and takes the vial and puts it in her pocket so Ruby doesn’t have to touch it again.
“I asked Chase to go get my momma. She’s a healer like Rachel, and my friend Killian. He's a doctor with extensive experience with our kind. If you’re feeling up to it, can you tell him what you know about what’s going on?”
Ruby takes my hand. She's a tall woman and strength radiates off her. Her strong fingers around mine almost hurt when she squeezes. All my life I’ve wanted to be normal, but seeing her? Seeing how strong and capable she is? How sure? I wish I could be as strong as the women I’ve met since I’ve come to this town. How am I not like them? What did I do to deserve being the weakest wolf ever born?
I turn away from her, burying my face in Cookie’s shirt. I can't look at the wolves right now, I can't accept what I should have been. What I’ve always desperately wished I could be, now more than ever. Holding this small human is the only comfort I have. Cookie’s soft hands stroke up and down my arms and I can hear her telling Ruby what she’s overheard about me when I was speaking to Ryder and Rachel. I have files in my backpack, tucked in a separate pocket in a waterproof folder. I’m supposed to be wearing a medical alert bracelet for emergency response units to be able to quickly identify my needs. I never wear it. It makes people look at me like I could drop dead at any second.
Downstairs I hear the echo of a muted conversation, followed by a snarl and a loud crash. Men are yelling, wood is splintering, and before I know it, the door to the bathroom is crushed and three men come flying in and almost land on us. Ruby gasps, Cookie screams, and I watch in silence. Jax is there, fighting Ryder and the guy who came through the door earlier, trying to get to me. His eyes are wild, his face a hard mask of fury.
“Jax, what the hell?” Ruby shouts.
He narrows his eyes at her dangerously. “Tell your man to let me go, Ruby, before I have to hurt him!” Jax growls, thrashing as Ryder and the other man haul him off the floor and hold his arms back.
“If I have to shift and remind you who won the last battle, I will!” the other man threatens.
Jax snarls, his eyes darkening. “You have your woman, don’t you dare try to keep me from mine. Not again.”
“Chase, maybe you should let him go?” Ruby walks over to him, fear in her eyes as she tries to separate him from Jax.
Ryder looks from Jax to me, but when Chase lets go and holds Ruby close, something seems to shift in my brother’s eyes. Understanding. Ryder loosens his grip slowly, hesitantly, but when Jax doesn’t lose control he seems to relax. I watch Jax curiously as he kneels in front of Cookie and his hands hover over my body. I want to reach for him, I want to cry against his neck, but I can’t. I’ll only hurt him when I die. Judging by the episode I just had? It might be sooner than I ever thought.
“What happened?” Ryder asks, his eyes boring into Cookie’s.
“I came in to check on her and she had slipped under the water. I think she fell asleep. When I got her out her body just started to shake, she couldn’t stop it.”
“And the blood?” Jax asks, wiping it from my bottom lip.
“When we tried to give her the medicine she bit her tongue…” Cookie fishes the vial out of her pocket and hands it to Ryder, who studies it closely.
“Cricket, what do you need? What do you want us to do?” Ryder asks me.
I shiver. I don’t want to make these decisions anymore.
“Let me look after her,” Jax says quietly, ripping his shirt off and offering it to me. “Give us a few minutes…please?”
I can tell him saying please is a huge step for him, and by the way Ryder is glaring at him, I know he's going to refuse. Slowly, I sit up and let Jax put the shirt over my head and pull me into his arms.
“Are you alright with this, Cricket?” Ryder asks.
I can only nod, my arms wrapping around Jax of their own volition.
Slowly, reluctantly, everyone leaves the bathroom and I’m alone with Jax. He’s wearing a chain necklace with a cross on the end, and I grab it idly and hold it tight. The metal in my hands is hot to the touch, hot like his skin. Every inch of him is hairless, not a scar on his body, and his muscles are so large and hard that leaning against his chest is like hugging a velvet rock.
“So, this is what happens? With your illness?” he asks me and nod. He wraps his strong arms around me, making me feel safe, and the heat of his body is a comfort I haven't felt ever in my life. “I’ll find a way to fix it, Cricket…” he whispers, his lips brushing the top of my head gently.
“Why…why do you care so much?” My voice is barely above a whisper, my fingers bound so tight around his necklace that it hurts.
“Don’t you feel it?” he asks, tilting my face up towards his. Tears slip from his eyes and fall onto my face to mix with mine.
“I feel…hopeless…” I sob.
“I feel like destiny just revealed itself to me,” Jax whispers. “I feel like the love of my life rode in here on my enemy's bike. I feel my future in my grasp, and her body in my arms. I feel you, Cricket, and I know there’s a way to fix this. There has to be. The ancestors wouldn’t bring you into my life just for you to die. There will be a way to fix you, I know it.”
