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“Tell them to fuck off, I’m busy.” Whoever’s on the other side of the door can go back home. I’m in no mood to entertain or talk about business. I hear mutterings and whispers, someone raises their voice, and finally another three taps on the door.
“Tap one more time and I’ll break your hands!”
“It’s Carli.”
There’s a very prominent seismic shift beneath my feet as everything comes to a still. As I first started begging Carli to answer my calls and reply to my texts, I kept thinking whatever misunderstanding there is between us, we still can figure it out. That I love her too much to let her go, and I was even willing to forgive her for sleeping with Devon while she said she loves me. That was okay, it’ll be okay, I’ll be okay. The strength I held on for the sake of us disappeared when she actually replied, though. She confessed everything Devon had said was true and fled like a coward. Didn't she want to save us too?
Apparently not. Carli had her chance to talk and she blew it.
“I don’t care if it’s the Pope or the King of England. I’m talking to no one.”
A loud sigh huffs out. I get on my feet and storm to the door. Tearing it open, I see Tax with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. I’m glad he noticed I could off him with one wrong move. “She’s at the bar, said she won’t leave until she talks to you.”
Oh, that’s funny. She still wants me to bend to her ways, whichever is convenient for Carli will happen right? I snort. “Throw her out. Call security if you have to. She’s not welcome here ever, am I clear? Under any circumstance, I don’t want to see her near my pack or in a building that belongs to me.”
Tax nods, walking off. I’m harsh, but the amount of caring about Carli is thinning with each passing minute. Because it’s not only that she broke my heart, my soul and my entire being by lying. She also made me make some stupid decisions that have affected others. Like Beth. I think of her and our broken mating ceremony. I think of her slitting her wrists and trying to kill herself because I chose Carli. There’s a kick of guilt right to the middle of my chest. I caused Beth a lot of trauma.
Sure, maybe she deserved a little of it for the type of person she is, but not that much. No one deserves to feel so little of themselves they try to commit suicide. To think that I was the reason makes everything worse. I don’t regret leaving Beth, because even if Carli wasn't in the picture, I wouldn’t have been happy. But I’m upset with the way I handled everything. Not gently, that's for sure. I pushed people around and broke rules so I could be with her. Doesn’t she know that? I risked and sacrificed so much for her, and what did I get in return? A big fuck you in the most hurtful way.
I’m about to go back into the office and day drink myself into a stupor when I hear loud shouting behind me. Before I can make sense of it, Carli cuts into my view, looking like a force to be reckoned with. Her hair is slicked back with professionalism, her vibrant eyes angry and lips thinned. I study her for any signs of distress, and it makes me angrier to see her doing better than I am. She looks well-rested, fed and healthy.
My gaze drops to her stomach, my jaw tightens as I turn my back.
“What the fuck, Jace?” she demands, but it doesn't stop me from walking into my space. Carli is hot on my heels. “Since when am I not welcomed into the bar?”
“Effective immediately. If you could see yourself out, that would be great,” I deadpan.
“You said you wanted to talk so here I am. To talk.” I hear her pull out a chair and plop herself down.
I don’t let myself take another glance at her though. I’m too scared of what I might feel. It’s easier to be mad at her from a distance, but when she’s just a few steps away and I can smell her scent, I almost give in. Almost…
“I didn't say I wanted to talk today. And by the way, I know everything I wanted to so there’s nothing left to discuss.”
“Nothing?” she scoffs. “I tell you that it’s true I’m pregnant and that’s it? That’s all you want to know?”
“Do you want me to ask when you conceived or what you’re gonna name the child, Carli? You think I still care about you or anything after you lied to me?” I pop open the cap of a whiskey bottle and pour a finger, drowning it in one go.
“You’re a coward, Jace.”
I chuckle maliciously. “Says the one who drove off for days.”
“I had to get my head straight. I had to put my child first.” Carli’s voice drifts closer, and I feel her body heat behind me. My spine stiffens, fingers urging to push her away and pull her closer at the same time.
“Was lying to me a part of keeping your child safe?” There’s a tense pause and I’m tempted to look at her, see her expression, watch her break beneath my words and be hurt as much as I was. “I’m not sure who’s worse, Carli. You or Beth.”
She gasps, inhaling air so sharply it almost chokes. “You don’t mean that,” Carli whispers.
And she’s right, I don’t mean that but I do intend to cause her pain for all those times she showed she’d rather be with me rather than anyone else. Then ultimately she slept with Devon and now has his child, but is invading my space and making my head go hazy.
“I lied because I was scared. I didn't mean any harm, Jace, and I don’t see why you hate me so much for this.”
“I hope you didn't come to ask for forgiveness.”
“No, I came because I thought you’re a good enough person to care. At least about the baby if not me anymore.” Carli curls her fingers around my arms and digs her nails in. “Look at me.”
I turn, keeping my glare cold and steady on her softened ones.
“Yes, I lied and yes, I know it’ll take some time for you to forgive me. When that day comes, I’ll explain everything to you and why I did it. Why I hurt you so much. But I promise you, Jace. I did it for us. To keep you and I and this child safe. I kept one secret, everything else I shared with you and told you was never a lie.”
