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Reaching forward, I turn up the music to drown out my internal conflict. My tear ducts have run out of tears apparently and my body has given up on being miserable. I’m just tired, numb, and I want this nightmare to be over so bad. I want to run away and start anew again but Devon has a knack of finding me without a trace.
When the sun starts to set and I pass a hotel with a diner close by, I think of the place I was staying at before. The people were nice there. I could have gotten a job as a waitress. If there’s a town close by, I don’t mind giving it a chance and seeing how living there feels like. I have enough in my savings to survive a month in a B&B. Plus Devon may not be that smart to look at the same place twice.
Steering the wheel to a hard left, I make a U-turn and head in the opposite direction. Sure, it might take me the whole night to reach that place, but that’s better than stopping at Rockport ever again.
It’s official now. I have absolutely no one there. Even Danika didn't spare me a glance during my short visit at the bar. Of course she would side with Jace.
But it doesn't matter anymore. I roll down my windows and flip my phone out. From the side mirror I watch as it crashes and gets lost in the side bushes.
“Well, it’s just you and I again, little bug. Let’s keep it that way, shall we?”
Chapter4
Jace
Ihate Tax. I want to kill Tax. I wish I could wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze until he gives out, leave Danika to deal with the mess of his body, and then finally go home.
A few hours ago, I had no plans of coming out. I was comfortable in my sweats, lounging on the couch and scrolling through sports channels with boxes of takeout littering the coffee table. But of course someone had to come disrupt my peace. Tax said he was doing me a favor by forcing me to come out for the night. To party and pump some life into some veins instead of being a sad mope. I wonder if it’ll be a favor for the rest of the pack if I just kill him now.
I glare at him from across the bar. He’s swinging his arms, grinding his hips on Danika, clearly having a great time. I don’t know how to have a good time anymore. But I’m also getting comfortable in my misery. Some days I think being in pain is so much easier than getting up and doing something about my messy life. Danika, Tax and the rest of Silver Moon don’t agree with me, but I don’t give two shits about their opinions.
I just want to go home. Scratch that, I just want Carli to go back to being the person I knew she was, and I want to be with her. I guess some things won’t ever change. I haven't heard from her in a while, which is totally understandable considering how I treated her last. No one talks of her in the bar, although I know everyone misses her. Especially Danika.
And I’ve fallen into an endless spiral. Snapping at everyone to the point where they shake at their knees to ask me the simplest thing, falling back on my work because all I can replay in my head are my moments with Carli and the one sentence she left me with.
I expected the father to care about his child…
Her words still haunt me. What’s worse is that I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know how to move on and cope with life without her, and I also don’t know how to forgive her and fight to get her back.
Sighing, I swing back a shot of whiskey, loving the way it burns my throat and makes my head fuzzy. I lean forward on the grimy bar and listen to the shitty music. Never in a million fucking years would I have thought I’d be in this state. Depressed and lonely, pathetic as hell.
“Wow, you look like crap.”
Oh great, another compliment I really needed to hear tonight. I don’t bother looking to my side at the person who spoke, but he puts his hand on my shoulder and pats me. Then he fucking chuckles. Even in my grave, I would recognize his laugh. It’s gravelly and mocking.
“Take your hand off me,” I shrug him off and rotate in my stool, turning my whole body to face Devon.
I expected a father to care about his child. All the more reasons to despise him. Abandoning his own child? Seems like something Devon would do.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I growl.
Anger is overpowering my sensations and making my ears ring. I’m out for blood. Devon sees it in my eyes and holds his hands up in defense, but he gives me a cocky smirk as well. I stand up straight and take a step towards him. One wrong move and he’s gonna get his ass beaten.
“Wanted to see how my brother is doing,” he says. “I know the breakup must be hard on you.”
“Say one more word and I swear I’ll kill you.” I rest my elbow on the counter, but miss it and stumble slightly. “Fuck.”
“You’re drunk. You’ll get yourself killed before you touch me.”
“Wanna bet?”
Devon cocks his head and shoves me back to my seat. I grunt, but don’t make a move to stand up again. Casually, he orders himself a drink and me a glass of water. “Look, I didn't come here to fight. Just wanted to talk.”
“About what? Wanna talk about how weak I am, and how you’re so goddamn powerful or that you played me over? That I should be scared of you? Trust me, that’s the last thing I care about.”
“No,” he shakes his head, looking around. “I want to talk about Carli.”
“Yeah, no, I’m not going to do that.” I get backup , fully intending to walk out that door and body slam anyone who tries to stop me. “I can’t deal with this shit.”
