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It’s startling after all those painful truths that Danica takes my hand and holds it gently. “I know you’re conflicted, Camden. And I absolutely understand your reasoning behind us staying a secret. You’re not wrong… I know this could cause unrest within the team, and that scares you. So hear me… I’m legitimizing your feelings. But I’m also going to legitimize mine. We’re at two different places in our lives and this is where our paths diverge.”
I know she’s right but fuck if I’m going to admit it out loud. So I remain silent.
Her hand slips from mine and my gaze falls away from hers. “If you decide you’re able to give more… to make this real… you know where to find me.”
I nod, my mind racing with a million conflicting thoughts. I don’t reply, but it’s when I notice cold snow hitting the back of my neck that I look up and see she’s gone. I scan down the block and there’s no sign of her.
CHAPTER 26
Danica
The heel ofmy foot taps restlessly as I watch the door for Kiera. It was a last-minute invite, but she didn’t hesitate to accept when I asked her to meet me for breakfast. I think the nature of my text ensured she’d come.
I’m all fucked up in the head and need a sounding board.
She merely replied,When and where?
I chose a quaint tea and pastry shop near the arena, an area of town she’s familiar with. Kiera only moved here three months ago and is still learning the city. The tea shop has the added benefit of serving chamomile, which hopefully will ease my nerves.
I chose Kiera rather than a handful of other friends I’m close with because she already knows about me and Camden. When Camden and I stumbled on her and Bain a little over a week ago at the gala, we became a group of four having illicit relationships within the bounds of the Titans’ team. I pulled Kiera away from Bain, dragged her back to the ballroom and tried to get the down-and-dirty details. It had to be quick since we were surrounded by people.
“How long has this been going on?” I asked because the way they were embraced indicated they had carnal knowledge of each other already.
With a big grin, she informed me that she had sex with him on New Year’s Eve and they’ve been “casually banging each other since.” I wanted more details, but she asked, “What’s going on with you and Camden?”
I never thought to lie or downplay it but I told her it was complicated and we were trying to figure it out. We were then pulled apart as Brienne wanted to introduce me to someone making a very large donation. I’ve not been able to talk to Kiera about any of this since that night.
Rubbing at my tired eyes, I lament my lack of sleep. Parting ways with Camden was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life. It feels like a rough-edged dagger has been stabbed straight through my heart and then twisted for maximum punishment.
It was probably delusional, but I’d hoped his desire to be with me would outweigh his fears. It’s a sore rebuff that it didn’t. I’ve never been through a breakup before—Mitch having been the one and only I’d ever dated. All I can say is it sucks and I’m not handling it well.
Kiera breezes through the door, unwinding a deep purple scarf from around her neck and unbuttoning her brown wool coat. Only two other customers sit at a table on the opposite side of the room so her eyes land on me quickly.
Her face is already soft with empathy as she approaches. Shrugging out of her coat, she tosses it across the back of her chair and plops down. I nod at the cup of tea I’d ordered for her and the plate of scones between us. She wrinkles her nose and ignores them both, leaning forward. “What’s going on?”
I shake my head, my gaze dropping to my tea that I haven’t touched yet. It’s hard to find the right words. Nothing seems adequate to describe what’s happened between me and Camden, so I lift my eyes and admit, “I ended things with Camden last night and I feel awful about it.”
“So un-end it,” she replies as if that’s the most obvious answer.
“I can’t go backward.”
Kiera sighs and picks up her tea, takes a tiny sip and grimaces. She’s a coffee person and I know this about her, but this shop only sells tea. It’s for tea snobs. “Start from the beginning. All I know is you like Camden and he likes you, so catch me up.”
“It’s a bit more thanlike,” I say gloomily.
“On your part?”
“I think on both our parts.” My fingers trace the pattern of little roses on the saucer. “The feelings have gotten strong, but it’s complicated, for him more than me.”
Kiera pushes the tea away and picks up a scone. Holding it before her mouth, she says, “Let me guess… he feels he’s in Mitch’s shadow and can’t handle that.”
I shake my head. “On the contrary, no. We’ve had those talks and yes, I think he had some insecurities in the beginning, but he trusts that I don’t compare them. Camden knows what I had with Mitch was amazing, and what I have with him is amazing too.”
“Then what’s his problem?”
I lift a shoulder. “He wants us to see each other secretively. He’s not ready for the team to know about us. Thinks it will cause waves and people will judge and not understand.”
“So what? I mean… if y’all have feelings for each other and they’re genuine and deep… what does it matter what anyone else thinks?”
