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“Exactly. These job offers are the same exact way for me. Anytime I get an offer, which is not nearly as often as Landon made it out to be, I do a little research on the hospital before I even make a decision about doing a formal interview. I research the hospital, the area I would be living in, if they have an established ER, or if I would be walking into a dumpster fire. If I’m going to move away from my family and friends, it’s got to be either my dream job or a damn near perfect offer.”
As I’m talking, I can see his shoulders relaxing a bit, but I know I haven’t convinced him yet. It’s daunting to think about adding Cash and Penny into any decision about my future employment opportunities, but I’d be lying to myself if I tried to say that they wouldn’t be a factor. That doesn’t mean I am giving up on my desire to be the best damn nurse possible and to further my career, but I may need to re-evaluate whether certain things are as important in considering a new job as they once were.
Before I realize it, we’re pulling up to my house and there’s no way in hell I’m ready to leave Cash and Penny. I have this overwhelming sense of anxiety that if I get out of this truck without them, that it could be the last time I have them in my life. Realistically I know that’s not true since Cash still has to finish my house, but I don’t like that space that is between us right now.
“What do you say about both of you coming in and staying at my house tonight?”
“I don’t know, Chayse. It’s been a long day and I should probably just take Penny home so she can sleep in her own bed.”
“Okay, I understand.” Not wanting him to see how hurt I am by his brush off. I place a chaste kiss on his cheek and dash out the door. I make it to the front door before the tears start falling. Fuck me. I’m tired of crying today. My shoulder starts to shake with my silent sobs and I get even more frustrated when I can’t see to get the door open.
I finally make it inside and am shutting the door when it bounces back open, and Cash pulls me into his arms. He places a kiss on my forehead and gently wipes my tears away.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m being an ass and letting my shit creep in where it doesn’t belong. I just really fucking hate the idea of you leaving us when we’re just getting to the good parts. But I’d hate not having you even more than losing you because I’m being a stubborn ass. Why don’t you go get some comfy clothes on while I bring Penny in.”
I just nod and squeeze him a little tighter. I leave the front door open a crack and head up to my spare room to get the bed ready. I grab a nightgown out of one of the drawers that I impulsively bought the other day when I was out running errands. There’s also a cute stuffed bunny laying on the bed that I thought Penny would love to snuggle if she were here. I don’t have much for a kid to do, especially since half the house is still a construction zone.
I’m just turning on the night light when Cash makes his way into the room with Penny, and he stops abruptly. He looks confused for a minute before the first genuine smile I’ve seen in hours slowly spreads across his face.
“Is everything okay?” I whisper.
He just pulls me in and plants a kiss right on my lips. I sigh as I melt into his body and deepen the kiss a little bit. Penny mumbles something and shifts in Cash’s arms which brings me back to my senses. I take a step back and give him an impish grin.
“So, you just happen to have an extra girl’s nightgown and bunny laying around?”
“Well, um, I may have seen them both while I was out running errands the other day and thought Penny might like them. I know sometimes you work late here and we do dinner after, so I thought it might be nice for Penny to have a few things here in case she gets tired or bored of hanging out with the adults.”
“Chayse, that’s the sweetest damn thing anyone has done for my baby. Let me get her to bed and then I want to see that fine ass of yours naked and in YOUR bed by the time I’m done.”
“Oh yeah? And if I’m not?”
“You know damn well what will happen if you want to test my patience, woman.”
With an extra swing to my step, I saunter out of the guest room and head to my room. I really love pushing Cash’s buttons in the bedroom. I just hope I’ll be able to keep quiet with Penny right now the hall. Thankfully, she sleeps like the dead.
Chapter Eighteen
Cash
Fuckwasyesterdayalot. I haven’t had emotional whiplash like that since Ashley left me with a very colicky baby. I knew I was going to be going at it alone, but that still doesn’t prepare you for the all-encompassing exhaustion and frustration that comes along with dealing with a baby with colic.
Staying at Chayse’s house last night was probably one of the dumbest fucking things I could’ve done, but I just couldn’t resist her. My head was fucked after Landon brought up that Chayse gets multiple job offers like it’s no big deal. Logically, I know she’s a fucking badass nurse, but the idea that she could be gone from our lives is crushing.
And how the hell could I be so dumb to put Penny in this situation? My sweet daughter who has been not so subtly hinting about wanting and needing a “mom” figure in her life. She is head over heels in love with Chayse already and that’s all my fault. I swore I wouldn’t date so that she wouldn’t get attached to someone else who is just going to leave us, then I go and have a “slumber party” at my new girlfriend’s house with my daughter.
But I just couldn’t resist going to Chayse. I hated seeing Chayse standing on her front porch so upset. I know some of that was residual from the day she had, but I was the one who made the tears come by being insecure and second guessing whether or not being with Chayse was actually a good thing. She didn’t even do anything wrong, but I was punishing her for being good at her job. I can be such an ass sometimes and I couldn’t leave her when she was upset like that.
Seeing the nightgown, bunny, and nightlight Chayse bought for Penny, my heart damn near burst out of my chest. It eased some of my anxiety that Chayse would just up and leave us if she took the time to buy things to make my daughter comfortable in her life and her space. I know she adores Penny, but it was a little bit of the reassurance I needed to realize that seeing Chayse isn’t as bad as my spiraling brain was making it out to be.
That being said, it was probably way too soon to be having joint sleepovers at Chayse’s house. Penny was so excited when she burst into Chayse’s room this morning. Thank all things holy that we were smart enough to put clothes back on after spending the night tangled up in each other. I’m definitely not ready to explain that to Penny. It’s bad enough that she caught me sleeping in Chayse’s bed. I was planning on going down to the couch but was so fucking tired that I passed out while we talked about everything and nothing.
Chayse and Penny are up in the spare bedroomgetting readyand no daddies are allowed. I wonder if things work out with Chayse and I, if this will become a normal occurrence. Instead of sitting at the island and stewing some more, I decide that my girls need some breakfast and go digging through the kitchen to see what I can make.
I find a griddle so I decide a breakfast smorgasbord was in order. I have pancakes cooking, eggs are down, and the bacon and sausage are going on the other side of the griddle. I may not be the best cook out there, but I love breakfast and so does Penny. It’s the one thing that’s hard to screw up and thankfully Chayse had everything to make a damn good spread.
I’m startled when a pair of arms wrap around my stomach, and I feel a soft kiss on my shoulder. Turning, I see Chayse with her chin resting on my shoulder and the sweetest, content smile I think I’ve ever seen on her face. I can’t resist stealing a quick kiss before I get back to cooking.
“Damn Cash, this all looks and smells fucking awesome. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I could smell all this goodness while I was upstairs getting ready. Thank you for making breakfast.”
