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Heading over to Chayse’s house for dinner has me all tied up. Having the whole day to process and decide what I want to say made me more confused than anything. I know my reaction was awful at the hospital, but I’m really not ready for her to leave us.
Penny did awesome getting her cast removed. It took a little coaching from Landon who had to let the doctor put the razor on his skin to show that it wouldn’t cut her, but then she sat still and let him take care of it.
Landon teased her relentlessly when the cast came off and it did in fact stink. Thankfully, Penny thought it was pretty funny, too. She was a little wobbly on her feet, but otherwise, she was back to her normal spunky self. The doctor warned us that she would get pretty tired the first week or so if she was walking on it a lot, so to watch out for her limping or favoring that leg. If she did, I needed to get her to take a break.
She was extremely excited when I told her we were heading to go swimming with Landon after the appointment. I decided to sit out and let them do their thing. She absolutely loved the water and according to Landon, she was a natural. She even had me take a video to send to Chayse. Of course Chayse sent her own praising her for doing such a good job.
Seeing her gorgeous face and hearing how proud of my daughter she was fucked with my head even more. I can tell she cares for Penny deeply, but I’m really starting to wonder if that will be enough for her. If WE will be enough for her. And if it’s even acceptable for me to ask that over her since we haven’t been together long at all.
At this point, it’s probably best to just pull back. Penny and I are already so attached that it’s going to hurt ten times worse when she does leave us to move on to bigger and better things. I don’t want to, but I think it’s best if I tell her that I think she should apply for the job. She has so much good she can do in a position like that.
I’ve never felt as much dread pulling up to her house as I do right now. I take a minute to try and get my shit together before I head inside. If I really am going to tell her to apply for the position, I need to make sure she thinks I’m being supportive of her and not angry.
Before I can even knock, Chayse pulls the front door open, and I damn near trip over my feet at the sight of her. She’s absolutely stunning. She has a hesitant smile on her freckled covered face just waiting to see which Cash is showing up. Her hair is curled and a little wild with a few braids thrown in here and there. She’s got light makeup on and the shortest damn sun dress possible. It’s white and lacy and for one minute, I picture her in a different kind of white dress walking down an aisle with her dad towards me. How the fuck am I going to let this girl go? I know I need to so I can protect our hearts, but it’s going to be one of the toughest things I’ve ever done.
With a sexy smile slowly spreading across her face, she cocks her hip and gives me a hard look. “Are you just going to stand there and stare at me, or are you going to come in so we can eat? I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking starving.”
“Sorry, darling. It’s kind of hard to breathe, let alone think and function, when you look that fucking stunning.” I climb the steps and quickly pull her to me. I’m instantly hit with a light coconut scent from her shampoo that I can’t help inhaling. It instantly relaxes me, and I can feel her sink into the hug a little more. She tips her head back, but still looks hesitant as she scans my face. I place a barely there kiss on her face and give her one of my first genuine smiles of the day. Her face instantly lights up as she steps back and starts pulling me into the house.
“So, since I’m starving, I figured we could just do tacos for dinner. I have all the fixins and it’s quick and easy.”
“Sounds good to me. What do you need me to do?”
“How about you cut up the veggies? There’s an onion on the counter and lettuce and tomatoes are in the fridge. I also made some guac yesterday that we can put on them if you’d like.”
“Sounds fucking perfect.” I grab everything I need, and we both get to work preparing our dinner. We move so well together that it’s almost like we’ve been doing this for years. We don’t talk much as we work since we are both so in our own heads. I suppose I should probably say something since I was the asshole today.
“So, how was the rest of your day?”
“It was good. It went pretty quick, and it was actually a pretty mellow day in the ER. I was able to get caught up on paperwork and get the schedule done for the next month. Hopefully that will help people plan better and not have as many call offs. What about you? How did Penny’s appointment and swimming go? It looked like her and Landon were having a blast.”
“That’s great. She was a champ getting her cast off and was absolutely pumped to be going swimming with Landon. She actually did really well listening to his instructions and I could see improvement by the time they were done. He’s going to try and take her swimming twice a week. The ortho and PT both said it would be great rehab for her leg. I told him to make sure he wasn’t wearing himself thin, but he just brushed me off and said he’s at the pool at least three days a week to swim laps already so it was no big deal.”
“Well, I’m glad it went well and swimming was a hit. Landon really is a phenomenal teacher. Before we were so short staffed, he would volunteer teaching free lessons for kids. He said everyone should know how to swim and paying for lessons shouldn’t even be a thing.”
“Damn, that’s awesome. But he does have a point. Everyone should be able to at least have the basics so that they can survive if they ever need to.” Chayse just nods her head as she works on mixing the seasonings into the meat. I know I need to suck it up and get this over with. I put the knife in the sink and rinse off my hands. I tug Chayse to me and grab one of her hands as I slowly rub my thumb across the back of it. I take a deep breath and then look straight at Chayse.
“So, I need to apologize to you. I was a complete ass today, Chayse. I know it’s not your fault if you get a job offer and I honestly completely overreacted. I just felt like I was being left out of your life, but I hadn’t even given you the chance to tell me. And you are in no way obligated to tell me anything you don’t want to or aren’t ready to talk about. I’m sorry.”
“Oh Cash, I don’t want you to feel like I’m leaving you out or hiding anything from you. I initially turned down the interview. It is a great opportunity, but there are a lot of things to consider. They reached out about a month or so ago and I was still trying to get my bearings in our ER. I didn’t feel like I was ready for that kind of responsibility.”
“Chayse, you are amazing and would kick ass at that job. And from what the doctor was saying, this sounds like a great opportunity for you. If this is something that you’d really enjoy, I think you owe it to yourself to apply for the position. I know first hand how great of a nurse you are, especially when it comes to kids. Penny’s ER experience would’ve been vastly different without you there. I think you would be absolutely brilliant at the Children’s hospital and they’d be lucky to have you...”
The more I talk, the more Chayse’s brow furrows. I know she’s probably trying to figure out if I’m being sincere or not, and I don’t blame her. As much as saying those words fucking sucked, they were also true. Chayse stands taller, squaring her shoulders as she slowly pulls her hands for mine. She smiles, but I can tell it’s strained.
“Thanks, Cash that means a lot coming from you. I suppose doing a phone interview wouldn’t hurt anything.” She gives me a hard stare as she says it, trying to gauge how I will react. I give her what I hope is an encouraging smile. I can’t let her see how much this is fucking gutting me, but I know this will be best for Penny and I if she does decide to leave us. We can’t get attached anymore than we already are.
Dinner is done and we eat mostly in silence, both so lost in our heads. It’s delicious, but I’m so anxious, it’s hard to get the food down. Chayse seems to be pushing her food around her plate more than eating. Once we get everything cleaned up, we head to the couch to watch a movie. I can’t fucking stand the distance, so I pull her into my side. If I am going to give her up, I need to get as much of this time in with her as I can.
I slowly kiss her, but it quickly turns desperate. Our clothes are shed and our bodies come together faster than I knew was possible. There’s an urgency to our touches, but I can’t slow down. The rest of the night is spent tangled in each other. We don’t talk much, but it’s almost like we’re saying goodbye. I sneak out early to a naked, sleeping Chayse. I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight and it takes everything in me to leave and go get Penny.
Chapter Twenty
Chayse
I’mstilltryingtowrap my head around my date with Cash last night. I’m honestly so confused and am about to go stir crazy just sitting in the house. I think it’s time to call my sisters and see if they can get out of town and go hit a trail. Thankfully, they both agree, and it isn’t long until I’m meeting them at one of our favorite spots. It’s gorgeous out and we all brought our suits and some food so that we don’t have to head home anytime soon.
“Hey, bitches! I’m so fucking happy to see you!” Emerson all but bounces her way over to Spencer and I as we grab our bags and lock up our vehicles. I can’t help but laugh at my bubbly little sister. This is exactly what I needed.
