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Sunlight streams through a window high up in the room. It’s too small for me to crawl through, but what would it matter? I can’t call the police. I’m not alive. There’s probably no law against kidnapping a ghost. I laugh hysterically, the absurdity of this getting to me.
Footsteps sound on the stairs, and I look up to see Hex standing in the doorway, looking at me curiously.
“I remember,” I tell him sadly. “I remember dying.”
His expression changes to one of pity, and he comes into the room to sit next to me. The action surprises me, given his anger at me last night. “I couldn’t sleep at all,” he tells me. “It doesn’t make any sense, but I don’t think you’re the reason all these bad things have been happening to us.”
I shake my head because I do have feelings for him despite everything. I could never do anything to hurt him.
“I meant what I said,” I whisper. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, Hex. But I have to update the worst.”
He nods sadly, understanding my meaning. Realizing I’m dead is definitely the worst thing that ever has or ever will happen to me. I suppose nothing ever will happen to me now. How unfair to finally meet a guy I can see a future with when I have no future.
“Why am I still here?” I croak, my throat thick with tears. “How can I be here when my parents are gone?”
He wraps his arms around his knees, pulling them to his chest. He’s so much more approachable in that position. He sighs heavily and fixes me with a serious look.
“There’s not always a reason why spirits stick around. A lot have unfinished business, but sometimes they’re tethered to the world for no reason at all. I’m sorry they left you here alone. I’m sorry you’re stuck here.”
I nod and swallow, remembering what he said last night.
“You said that woman would exorcise me. Like I’m a demon or something.”
He sighs again and rests his head against the wall, looking at the ceiling. I mimic his position, this conversation too weighty and strange to take seriously.
“It’s complicated. But if you want, she can set your spirit free. You can be with your parents. You can let go.”
“How can I?” I ask sadly. “Since I met you, I feel more alive than I did when… well when I was alive.”
He turns to smile at me, his eyes wet. “Don’t let your feelings for me cloud your decision. You aren’t alive, so it doesn’t matter how either of us feels. It’s not fair to continue this.”
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
Hex has been gone for hours, and I fear he isn’t coming back. He has no reason to. He’s made it very clear he doesn’t want me anymore. I don’t blame him. If I were in his position, I’d make the same decision. After all, I’m dead. Something I still grapple with.
Hex is sweet and charming, with a playful quality. He also gets deep and says the most wonderful, beautiful things. He deserves someone amazing, but more importantly, someone alive.
The pain rips through me, and I’m struck again by the absurdity of this situation. A few hours ago, I thought the emptiness I felt was due to sadness and depression. Now I know this empty, numb sensation I’ve carried inside is death. Ghosts can’t feel. But I do feel. It makes no sense.
Someone comes down the stairs, but it isn’t him. The steps are lighter, more strained. I’m not surprised when the old woman enters the room and sits down next to me. She looks right at me, the way Hex does. She probably sees ghosts too.
“I’m sure you have a lot of questions, child,” she says kindly. “I may not have all the answers, but I’ll tell you all I can.”
“You can see me?” I ask dumbly. Even though she’s clearly speaking to me, I notice a distance in her eyes.
She nods, but clarifies. “I sense your spirit. I only see your aura, but I’ve opened my mind so we can communicate. This all must sound so strange.”
I nod but realize she probably can’t see that. “Yes,” I whisper weakly. “Until last night, I didn’t believe in ghosts. I didn’t believe in anything. But everyone here is acting like it’s common.”
“To these boys, it is,” she tells me with a small smile. “This is a safe place for the outcasts of society, and ghosts are part of that. I’m surprised none have come down to see you.”
I’m instantly glad they haven’t. I’m struggling to process my own death, and I don’t think I could handle seeing another dead person.
“What is this place?” I want to move our conversation to safer territory. I can only take so much.
The woman smiles again and reaches for my leg. She pats me gently, and I feel it. She looks at me knowingly, as if she feels me, too.
“You’re a curious one. Can I tell you a secret? I don’t think you are really dead.”
