Page 25 of Signed For Him

His calloused hand overwhelms my smaller one. I've always thought of myself as someone that's strong, independent, and a fierce feminist, but I'm realising more and more that the safety of a man I care for, a man's larger presence being near me, and offering me their security sends flutters through me.

He's right. I think the only reason he didn't very genuinely superglue himself to my side was only because Dad insisted that if he didn't at least start the interview process that they wouldn't let him near me. That got him moving. And glaring. There was a lot of glaring involved too. He's good at that.

You know that annoyingly attractive and brooding frown that men do? That one.

Crow’s hands are rough and yet they are inviting and comforting too. I peek down to see the way our hands connect.

"Yeah, he's a little protective," I agree.

"Are you scared?" Crow asks me as we pass the street of houses.

"Of what?" I wonder as I look around us and wonder what there is to be scared of.

"Everything."

I think for a moment before responding, trying to think of a way to effectively communicate the way I feel.

"I feel fidgety and paranoid - a little bit wary of touch but overall, no. I mean, it might be a weird realisation to come to but I feel like there's nothing I can do to stop bad things from happening. I could train or carry a gun, or have you or Liam with me twenty-four seven, but if someone really wanted to get to me, I have no doubt that they would eventually. Just like they did before. And even though I'm petrified of that happening again without Gray and Liam to protect me like they did, I don't want to let the fear of that stop me from doing what I want," I tell him honestly as I take a deep breath and attempt to force myself into enjoying the fresh air that I've missed. Being stuck inside for so long drove me crazy or at least it felt that way.

"Are you scared of my touch? You know I won't ever push you, don't you?" he asks as he watches me delicately.

I turn to look up at him as we walk and see the concern written all over his face.

"I know," I tell him with a small smile. There's not a single part of me that questions Crow and his motives.

"Can I ask you something else?" he asks as we near the clearing and the entrance to the woods.

"Yeah, of course." I take my hand from his and run it down my side. His hands are hot. Sweaty even, or is it mine? I can't tell.

"Did anything happen between you and Liam? He looks at you like I imagine I do."

His question stops me immediately, my hands freezing for a moment. I'm not going to lie to him, but I also feel like I've put him through so much already that I don't want to put him through more.

"Yes. We slept together. I care about him," I tell him honestly, worry coating my voice as I shift uncomfortably and walk towards the peak and our den, not wanting to see the horror and disgust on his face. I'm being a coward. I did this and I have to live with the consequences. I turn to him again just as he speaks.

"And you trust him?" he asks, his hand ruffling his already ruffled and short hair.

"Yeah, I trust him just as much as I trust you."

"I hate to tell you, Char, but your judge of character ain't great considering the whole Victor fiasco, so maybe we should take it slow with him. I mean, he's admittedly better looking than Victor so I wouldn't mind seeing him fuck you while you suck my dick but even so, we'll take it slow, yeah?" I nearly drop the travel mug I'm holding, my eyes going wide as I turn to see a sly grin covering his lips.

What did he just say?

I don't know where to start processing his words.

I splutter out some sounds, unsure of what I'm even trying to say as he smirks and wags his eyebrows at me.

"If I'm a bad judge of character, you realise that it includes my judgement of you, right?" I ask with a crooked brow as I fold my arms.

"I'm amazing, thank you very much," he says with a laugh as he takes the mug I'd put on the floor and begins filling it with tea.

"Also an O'banian though," I say. Not a question - a fact. I don't think he'd lie to me at this stage, but I still don't pose my words as a question, not wanting to give him the chance to lie.

I guess this is as good a time as any to bring it up. I watch as his face contorts and he shakes his head with his eyes closed briefly, the twitch of his lips my only sign that he's not annoyed by my accusation.

"Yeah, Crow O'banian at your service, ma'am." He salutes me with a smirk on his face. The words, along with the action and his stature, is appallingly attractive when it so shouldn't be. I know he's trying to keep things light by joking but shit, he is really handsome.

Shut up, Charlie.

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