Page 125 of The Purrfect Handyman


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“These are my witnesses,” Alanna interjected.

Witnesses?Shit. She had witnesses? Sully suddenly felt less confident about his case. No! He patted the thick binder on the table in front of him. He didn’t need witnesses. He had something even better… data.

“So, um, okay, let’s get started then,” Theo said. “Who wants to go first?”

Sully gave a little nod to Alanna. “Ladies first.” Just because he was absolutely going to demolish the woman didn’t mean he had to be rude about it.

Two glasses of wine appeared, one placed in front of Alanna, the other in front of him. Sully looked up and found Jax standing in front of the table, a lollipop stick jutting from her lips. “Thought you could both use this,” she said with a wink. “Why anyone would fight tokeepa cat is beyond me, but you crazy kids have fun.”

After taking a long and appreciative sip of the wine, Alanna proceeded to lay out her case with both efficiency and elegance. She entered into evidence (aka a spot in front of Theo) a copy of her adoption papers of one, Petunia, an orange and white American longhair cat, from the Yucca Hills Animal Rescue. Layla Sandoval was then called as a witness to confirm the transaction and to nod empathetically when Alanna held up a printed picture of Sheba—mid-hiss, Sully noted—to affirm the identity of the cat in question.

Alanna continued briskly, producing receipts of cat products she’d purchased for Petunia, and showcasing the rhinestone monstrosity of a collar with the name “Petunia” printed clearly on the heart-shaped tag.

“On the day Petunia went missing, Sully happened to be on the premises,” Alanna continued. “Surely, a coincidence of course.”

“Ooooooh,” Haley murmured. The scantily clad server had taken a seat next to Theo as Jax continued to prep the serving bar in the background.

“Objection!” Hue cried, “Are you implying that my, uh… are we going with client?” He looked at Sully. Sully shrugged. “That Sully took your cat?”

“I’m merely stating the facts,” Alanna retorted.

“I didn’t steal Sheba,” Sully said. “Maybe Dede left a door open.”

“Objection!” Alanna called. “Speculation. And, uh, character defamation of my mother.”

Everyone looked at Theo.

“What?” he asked.

“What happened to you two?” Cam asked, his voice cracking with what Sully alarmingly suspected might be unshed tears. “Everything was going so well. You were perfect for each other.”

Silence fell on the group.

“Please proceed,” Haley said at last. And so, Alanna did. She produced a missing cat flyer featuring the same unflattering picture of Sheba. The three women at the next table were each called as witnesses to testify to Alanna’s copious search efforts.

The black-haired woman named Willow spoke in a soft voice, her eyes cast down, her thumbs tapping together nervously.

“And was Petunia ever found during our search efforts?” Alanna asked.

Willow didn’t look up. “No,” she murmured.

“Thank you for your honest testimony,” Alanna said. “Would you like to cross-examine the witness?”

Willow seemed terrified of the prospect. Hue lifted a brow at Sully. Sully shook his head.

“Not at this time,” Hue responded.

Willow seemed immensely relieved and quickly tucked herself back behind the other women.

“I’d like to conclude with some last remarks,” Alanna said. “So, as you see, the evidence overwhelmingly proves that I am clearly the rightful—”

The door to the winery swung open. A couple strolled in, glanced at the crowd of people, the folders of evidence, Cam’s quivering lip, and quickly retreated out the door.

“… and now I’m losing business,” Theo grumbled.

“So you see,” Alanna repeated. “The evidence clearly shows that I am the legal owner of Petunia. Her escape was an accident, and I did everything that was reasonably within my power to find her. In fact, had she not been abducted—”

“Objection!” Hue hollered.

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