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I bit my lip, my heart thumping so hard in my chest I was sure Carnon must be able to hear it. He sighed, squeezing me for a moment before releasing me. He pulled back, looking down at me with a wan smile.
“I probably deserve your silence,” he said. “But I do love you. And I’ll wait however long you need to hear you say it back.”
He rolled out of the bed, snatching up his trousers and pulling them on. I sat up, pulling the blanket up to cover me. I felt somehow more exposed than before. More vulnerable.
“Carnon,” I started, voice sounding hesitant.
He turned, bending down to kiss me soundly. “It’s fine,” he said, pulling back and giving me a weak attempt at his usual smirk. “I’ll ask again another night.” He grabbed his shirt and strode toward the door. “Come down to dinner when you’re ready,” he said, shooting me a quick rueful smile as he left me sitting alone in the big bed.
I put my face in my hands, cursing myself. Goddess above, the Demon King had just told me he loved me, and I had said nothing. Not even a thank you. And I had jumped into bed with him moments after learning about his tragic past. Granted, he had wanted me too, but still, had I no self-control?
Did I love him back? I had been falling for Carnon, had told him as much, the night I bound him to his bed and forced him to reveal himself. I had worked so hard to hate him ever since, to deny the attraction to him, that I had refused to examine my feelings more deeply.
I sighed, crawling out of bed and dressing as I tried to decide if I was as hopelessly in love with my mate as he seemed to be with me.
Chapter 20
I found my way to where dinner was being served fairly easily, as almost the whole of the city seemed to be gathered around a large bonfire amid the trees. Laughter and music floated up into the night sky, and the horned heads of demons mingled with human heads in bobbing circles around the flames.
The climb down a precarious rope ladder was made worse by the pounding sense of confusion in my head as I tried to work out what I should do about Carnon.
I saw him before he noticed me, head bowed in discussion with Cerridwen, their profiles lit by the dancing flames. She frowned up at him, reaching up to pat his shoulder sympathetically, and I wondered if he was telling her what had just happened. What I had failed to say.
“So he loves you,” came a gruff voice from behind me.
I started, turning to see Herne looking over me like a giant bear, his yellow eyes glowing in the dark. His horns shined wickedly sharp in the firelight, and he raised a brow as he looked down at me.
“He told you?” I asked, not sure what else to say. Herne and I had barely exchanged any words, and since I struggled to talk to Carnon about this, bearing my heart to Herne seemed an impossible task.
Herne grunted, crossing his arms and looking over me. “Didn’t have to,” he said. “I’ve known him all his life, and I have never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you. Well, except once.”
My heart gave an icy little thud in my chest. “Scathanna?” I asked, not sure what I hoped his answer would be.
Herne’s brow shot so high on his forehead it nearly disappeared. “Gods, no,” he said. I waited for him to elaborate, but he was a silent wall of demon, studying me thoughtfully.
I frowned. “Why are you telling me this?” I asked, pushing aside the hurt of another romance he hadn’t told me about.
“Because,” Herne said gruffly, looking past me again at his friend and his mate. “You make him happy. Whole,” he said. “And for what it’s worth, you have my blessing.” He clapped a huge hand on my shoulder, nearly knocking me over with the force of his approval. I let out a little squeak of surprise, and it was enough to alert Carnon and Cerridwen to my presence.
Cerridwen coughed guiltily, and Carnon gave me a tight smile.
“Hello,” I said, feeling horrifically awkward all of a sudden.
“We’ll go get food for you,” Cerridwen said loudly, giving Herne a pointed look.
The huge demon sighed and rolled his eyes, following his mate. He shot me a piercing look over his shoulder as he left.
“You’ve made a friend,” Carnon said, still giving me that right false smile. It made me feel guilty and anxious, and I sighed.
“Carnon—“
“It’s fine, Elara,” Carnon said quickly, stepping toward me and taking my hands in his. He raised them to his mouth, kissing the knuckles before dropping them. “I told you. Take as long as you need.”
I frowned, looking up at him as his green eyes finally met mine. I wasn’t sure how to ask about his first love, or the loss of his parents, or anything else I had only ever heard second-hand.
“We brought stew,” Cerridwen said behind me, making me jump.
“Easy, Red,” Carnon whispered, giving me a raised brow as he took the bowl Cerridwen had offered him.
