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Clara had the clothes, toiletries, and essential papers in her carryon, with more shoes, clothing, and other necessities in her checked bag.
Times three, that’s what the Tanner family currently possessed. The rest of their stuff would arrive on a ship in four to six weeks, and that was only if Clara managed to find the funds to pay for it.
She couldn’t look through couch cushions or strategically move money from one account to another. Not anymore. She had no couch, and the federal government had seized and frozen all of their bank accounts.
They’d gotten one back after the first couple of months, and without the help of a few kind souls in Montpelier who’d been Clara and Scott’s closest friends, along with Scott’s father, they’d survived.
Her phone chimed several times as Reuben maneuvered the SUV into the parking lot at the beachside condo where their mother lived.
The house which Scott and Clara had rented wouldn’t be ready for another three weeks, and they’d been forced to ask for more help. A weight of exhaustion pressed against the back of Clara’s skull, sending shockwaves of pain through her brain to her eyes.
She told herself over and over that it was okay. Everyone needed help at some point in their lives. She’d been there with meals, babysitting, and money for others over the years. Service brought her joy, and she needed to seize onto that word instead of the one that had been rotating through her mind lately.
“All right,” Reuben said, pulling into an uncovered parking space. “This is as close as I can get you.” He smiled at Scott in the front seat, his eyes moving to the rearview mirror to flash a grin in Clara’s direction too.
She didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the free ride, so she quickly curved her lips up. The cost to do so took the minute amount of energy she had left, so she moved just as rapidly to open the back door.
“Lena,” she said across Jean, who sat in the middle. “Please come to the back and help with your bag.”
The girl wouldn’t, and Scott would have to ask her again. Jean would probably be the one to get Lena to do what she’d been asked to do, because Jean was gentle and powerful at the same time.
Clara glanced at her before she slid out, and she found the stress around her sister-in-law’s eyes. Compassion filled her, making tears flood her eyes.
She couldn’t hide them, so she simply let them fall down her face as she stood and faced her brother.
“Oh, come on,” he said, his voice infused with kindness. He took her into a hug, and Clara clung to her big brother now as a forty-two-year-old the same way she had as a child. “It’s not so bad here. Especially in the summer.”
They shifted out of the way as Jean exited the car, and Clara nodded as she stepped away from Reuben. “It’s not that.” She grabbed onto Jean and hugged her too. “Thank you guys for helping us. It means so much to me. To all of us.”
She couldn’t see what was happening on the other side of the SUV, and it didn’t matter. Clara didn’t say thank you enough, and she needed to do better at that. Heck, simply the fact that Reuben thought she’d been crying about being back in the cove told her what her brother thought of her.
She told herself it wasn’t a crime to be strong. She was allowed to have her own opinions,andto voice them. It wasn’t her job to make anyone else feel good about their choices, though she could lend a listening ear.
“You’re welcome,” Jean said. “If you’re dying here, come to the lighthouse.”
“Or we’ll help pay for a hotel room,” Reuben said, his dark eyes filled with concern. He flicked a glance toward the back of the vehicle as the hatch opened.
“Mom,” Lena said at the same time Clara wiped her face.
“Thank you,” she said again. “We’ll be okay. I’m okay.” She took a deep breath, willing the oxygen to make the okay-ness she wanted to simply appear.
She wasn’t sure if it did or not, but she was able to step to the back of the car to help Lena and Scott with the bags. Reuben and Jean came too, and the five of them towed their six pieces of luggage across the lot and down the sidewalk.
“I’m sure Kristen will have coffee waiting,” Jean said.
“She’s been cooking for a couple of days, I know that,” Reuben added.
A hot meal sounded like a slice of heaven to Clara, but she said nothing. What she really wanted was a room where she could be alone. Where she could cry as much as she wanted. Where she could scream until her throat ripped and all of the negativity inside her fled.
Then, she’d be able to rejoin her family with a better attitude and without tears.
They went past the dog park, where a couple of pooches played with one another while a man watched, and on to her mom’s building.
She wasn’t sure she could take another step, and then she did. One after the other, she did.
Reuben reached the door first, and he twisted the knob. Or tried to. “Huh.” He looked down and then over to Clara. “It’s locked.”
He reached to ring the doorbell, and thecling-clang-clongof it reverberated through the condo, loud enough for everyone to hear outside on her porch.
