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“I remember the first time I saw Scott.” Her voice shakes and her body trembles. “It was the first day of class, and I sat in the front row. He was my professor and I was enraptured.”
I keep my thoughts to myself, including any judgment about a professor using his power to prey upon one of his students. What a fucking douchebag.
“We started spending time together during office hours.” Her voice gains in strength. “At first it was with other students, and then one day, after everyone else had gone home, it was just the two of us.”
“Go on.” Despite the rage building within me, I want her to continue. I value the trust she places in me far more than my anger at a professor abusing his position.
“Before I knew it, we were kissing.” A dreamy look appears on her face. “He made the first move and it felt so forbidden. We broke all of the rules.”
“He used his position to get into bed with you.” I can’t stand here and say nothing. What Scott did is wrong on so many levels.
“I see that now, but at the time, I was swept up by the moment. His authority? His power?” She nibbles on her lower lip. “It spoke to me on a level I’d never experienced before. I fell head over heels in love with him. At least, what I thought was love.”
There’s that rosy glow again, and my heart skips a beat because of what it says about Kaye. It tells me what she finds attractive in a man. It also reveals some important blind spots.
There’s a big difference between a dominant man and a domineering asshole. I’m the first. Scott’s the second. He’s the kind of man I put down for a living.
As for love, it was more likely lust that drew her to him, but I keep that comment to myself.
“When did things change between the two of you?”
“Things started to change as the semester grew to a close. I asked him for a favor. Afterward, he became more possessive, telling me I owed him.” Her voice is now sad, regretful, and hurt.
“How?”
“He became possessive. Controlling. He wanted me to be available to him all the time. I couldn’t hang with my friends. He made me spend the weekends with him, then demanded I sleep at his place every night. I couldn’t have lunch with my friends. I had to join him in his office. Do—things I wouldn’t normally do. His demands felt suffocating and I felt humiliated.”
She claws at her throat and falls silent for a moment before continuing with a deep breath. “I walked in on him one day when he was with another student.”
“What does that mean?”
“He had this girl, Denise, bent over his desk and was fucking her from behind. When I walked out, saying we were over, it turned into a fight.” Her voice drops to a whisper and she ducks her head. “He said I had no right to walk out on him. That I belonged to him. And how dare I judge him. That it was my fault he—that he…” She scrubs her cheeks and the tears that fall.
“He blamed his infidelity on you?” What a tool. Men like that don’t deserve to breathe.
“He did and that turned into an even bigger fight. I walked away. Stopped responding to his texts. Then he threatened to flunk me and call Dean Alder at Davis.”
“Why would he do that?” I get the flunking her from class. That’s the power professors hold over their students and precisely why there are non-fraternization policies in place. But Davis?
“Early in our relationship, back when things were heating up, I asked Scott to call the Dean of the vet school at UC Davis and put in a good word for me.”
“And?”
“I asked him to help with my application. I was afraid I wouldn’t get in on my own. Being a vet is all I’ve ever wanted to be. I was desperate. And stupid.” She wipes away more tears. “That favor is what Scott held over my head. He said I owed him obedience and I wasn’t appreciative enough. If I really loved him, like I claimed, I wouldn’t hesitate to take things to the next level.” She grips her stomach, probably without realizing it, but I hear the fear in her words.
“What does that mean?”
“To become…” Her breath hitches.
“To become, what?”
“Scott likes control. He was always very strict about our roles.”
“Roles?”
“Dominant male. Submissive female.” Her cheeks pink with shame. “Power exchange?”
“Is that what finally broke you, or was it his infidelity?”
