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“Both, I suppose. I didn’t mind most of what we did. I wanted to be adventurous, but what he wanted from me…”
“Yes?”
“It terrified me.” Her lower lip trembles. “Honestly, Denise saved me. If I hadn’t walked in on them, I’d probably still be with Scott, and I don’t think he would’ve allowed me to go.”
“It sounds like he’s a very dangerous man. You did the right thing.” My need to protect her is one of my core beliefs, but I need to tread carefully. I’m not into the D/s lifestyle but am familiar with it. I tend to dominate in bed, but that’s where it ends. It could be a trigger for her, which means I need to proceed cautiously, if at all.
“You’re an incredible woman.”
“You don’t have to say that. This is a mess of my making. I just have to figure a way out of it.”
“From what you’ve shared, I have a feeling Scott would’ve convinced you to give up your dream to be a vet. You have a beautiful soul and it would be a crime to deny the world of your talents.”
“I don’t know about that.” Her shyness touches me on a deeply personal level. She’s not used to praise from others and doesn’t know how to accept it.
“Anyone who devotes their life to animals is a saint in my book.”
“I’m no saint.”
“Neither am I.” I debate my next move, but after she shared something so personal, I feel a need to reciprocate and level the field. “I have something I want to share with you.”
“You do?”
I feel the need to switch topics, moving from something heavy to something I hope will inspire her. She needs a bit of a pick me up and to know she did the right thing in kicking Scott out of her life.
“Growing up in the commune, animals were useful only for what they provided.” I gaze out toward the horizon and admire the fading glow of the sunset.
“I thought you said you were in a cult?”
“I was born into a cult and we lived as a commune.”
The thought disgusts me. How someone can cede over that degree of control to another escapes me. Perhaps this is one of the reasons alternate lifestyles don’t appeal to me. Too many bad memories.
“I’m sorry.”
“My mother joined the cult when she was sixteen. Ran away from home. Her parents tried to rescue her, several times, but never succeeded.”
“Wow.”
“She became one of my father’s many wives, devoted herself to serve him. Got knocked up and fell from grace.”
“That sounds horrible.”
“It was.”
Those details are not something I’m ready to share. Not yet. If something takes off between me and Kaye, I may tell her the rest of the story. In the meantime, I tell her about the animals and why I admire her career choice as much as I do.
“You mentioned animals?”
“Yes. We all had chores. Once I was old enough, I helped take care of the animals, and like I said, they were useful only for what they gave us.”
“What do you mean?”
“Milk from goats and cows. Eggs from chickens. Wool from our bedraggled flock of sheep. Pigs for the meat they provided. Cattle for leather as well as meat. We kept one bull to impregnate the dairy cows, and slaughtered all the male calves after a year.”
I pause, shudders run through my body as memories of slaughter day run through my mind.
“It was brutal.”
