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Barbi raises an eyebrow. “And what did you think that was?”
I let out a sigh, my gaze growing distant as I recount my youth. “I don’t know. I guess I thought I was supposed to be this suave, confident guy who could charm any girl he wanted. I guess that made me feel like I had something to prove.”
“It’s hard not to get caught up in what other people think of us, especially in high school.” She nods sympathetically.
I reach over and take her hand in mine. “But you know what? All of that feels so far away now. When I’m with you, I don’t feel like I have to be anyone but myself. And that’s a pretty amazing feeling.”
“When I’m with you, I feel like I can be myself too. And that’s pretty special.” Her smile lights up her face, but then a shadow overcomes her. “At least you were trying. I spent most of my high school years trying to blend in with the wallpaper.”
I turn to her, intrigued. “Really? I find that hard to believe. You seem like the kind of person who’s always been comfortable in their own skin.”
She shrugs, a hint of vulnerability creeping into her expression. “I guess I just got used to fading into the background. It was easier that way.”
“I’m glad you’re not trying to blend in with the crowd anymore. You stand out in all the best ways.”
“Why did you join the Navy and want to become a U.S. Navy SEAL?” She’s genuinely interested in learning more about my past and I love it.
“Growing up, I always felt like I needed a sense of purpose, you know? I wanted to do something that mattered, something that would make a difference in the world. I was always the biggest kid in the class, matured early, as you know. Protecting those smaller and weaker than myself has always been a part of who I was. That sense of responsibility to help others always pulled at me.”
She listens intently, encouraging me to continue.
“And then one day, I saw a documentary about the Navy SEALs. I was blown away by their discipline, their bravery, their unwavering commitment to their country. I knew right then and there that’s what I wanted to do.”
“That takes a lot of guts.” There’s real admiration in her voice. “I don’t think I could ever be that brave.”
“You have your own kind of courage, Barbi. Everyone does. It’s just a matter of finding it. Maybe that’s why you want to practice law? Fight for justice within the system?”
“Thanks. I never really saw it that way.” Her smile encourages the warm sense of our growing connection to each other. “But a Navy SEAL and now a Guardian? You know you’re basically walking sex appeal. You must have women falling at your feet.”
“Unfortunately, that’s true.” I can’t help but laugh. “But you didn’t know I was a Guardian when we met. Or a former SEAL.” My laughter is genuine and true. “And as for other women falling at my feet, I only have eyes for you. I can’t wait to put you on your knees and test out your lack of gag reflex again.”
“I bet you can’t.” Her laughter is light and uplifting, but I noticed how her expression turned somewhat introspective when we talked about high school.
As good as the sex is, this trip is about getting to know each other better. I sense there’s more to her earlier comments. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” She looks up at me, her eyes uncertain.
I take her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You mentioned you spent most of your high school years trying to blend in. But why? Especially when you’re such a knockout with lots of curves to admire.” I add in a smile to comfort her.
Her cheeks flush at the compliment, but then she lets out a rueful sigh. “I was an early bloomer, and that made me feel really self-conscious. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself because I thought people were only interested in me for the wrong reasons.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been tough.” I frown with concern.
“It was,” she admits, her voice a little quieter. “I remember one time in middle school, I wore a new dress that my mom had bought me. I was so excited to show it off, but then I overheard some boys snickering about my chest and it made me feel so ashamed. Like there was something wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect just the way you are.” I wish I could pull her to me, but the Jeep doesn’t allow for that.
“Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
“What do you say we hit up one of those fancy bars I’ve been hearing so much about?” I pull up to our hotel, ready to enjoy a night on the town.
“Let’s do it.” Barbi’s eyes spark with excitement. “Maybe we can find one of those clubs…” Her voice trails off, too scared, or maybe unsure, to continue.
“Love, you’re not ready for a BDSM club. Besides, I’m not willing to share you like that.”
“I thought you liked sex in public places?”
Shit, she got me there. But this is different. She’s no longer a meaningless fuck. There’s no way I want to cheapen her like that.
