AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Hours later, the flashing neon makes way for the rising Sun and I blink blearily as I stretch out beneath the sheets and then roll onto my back on the bed.
I’m alone in it. He’s gone. Even though I knew deep down that this might happen, it still feels like a blow. The sheets beside me are cold, and I can’t help but reach out, trying to find any lingering trace of his presence. But there’s nothing – aside from his scent. Our scent.
“Damn,” I mutter under my breath, sitting up and running a hand through my tousled hair. The room looks exactly as it did before – the small wooden dresser with the broken drawer, the worn carpet, and the peeling wallpaper that’s seen better days. It’s like he was never here.
Fuck.
Maybe I got too drunk and it was all a dream?
A strange emptiness fills my chest as I drag myself out of bed and pad over to the window. I peer out at the early morning light, wondering if he’s already disappeared into the shadows, leaving me behind without a second thought.
“Stupid,” I chastise myself, suddenly feeling foolish for letting my guard down like this. What was I thinking, getting so intimate with a random stranger? I’m not exactly in a position to be taking risks. Yet, despite the danger, I can’t shake off the warmth of last night’s memories.
“It’s not warmth, stupid. You just haven’t been laid in too long.”
I shake my head, determined to push these thoughts away. I need to focus on what’s important: staying alive and getting out of the mess I’ve found myself in. As much as I want to cling to the fantasy of the stranger and his touch, I have to face reality.
“Never again,” I whisper to myself.
Which should be easy, because I have no doubt that I’ve seen the last of him.
Chapter 4
Anton
The opulence of my mountain estate is almost suffocating.
It’s hardly surprising. I’ve been stuck here way too long. Nikolai sits on the thick rug in the living room, chattering happily as he plays with the toy car I got him for his last birthday. In spite of his contentment, I feel a pang of guilt. The boy needs company. No kid his age should be playing alone. But finding him friends would be impossible. It’s not like I can put him in daycare. He’d be an easy target for anyone from my past.
I lean back on the plush velvet sofa, the daily newspaper resting on my lap. It’s not keeping me occupied. News from the small town nearby is hardly riveting. Cake sales and school sports dominate the headlines. Some kids’ hockey match seems to be food for the front page.
It’s all so tedious.
Which is exactly why I came here.
Tedious.
And safe for Nikolai.
The wide fireplace crackles with life, casting flickering shadows across the burnished wood floor. It’s probably one of the largest ranch houses in the area – a risk, considering I want to stay hidden – but there were some luxuries I just couldn’t part with.
“Vroom!” Nikolai’s voice cuts through the silence, and I can’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. I watch a curl of his thick hair fall into his eyes as he focuses intently on his play.
But my mind remains unsettled, unable to focus on the words written on the pages before me. Last night’s encounter with the woman from the bar keeps invading my thoughts. I have never been one to indulge in one-night stands. Or any kind of intimacy. Certainly not since Katya. But there was something about her – a pull I couldn’t resist. And I’m sure she felt the same.
“Papa?” Nikolai calls to me, drawing me back to the present.
“Da, Niko?” I respond, forcing myself to brush aside the intrusive images of tangled limbs and heated whispers.
“Can we go outside and play later?” he asks, his gold-flecked eyes mirroring my own, shining with excitement.
“Of course,malysh,” I reply, smiling at him. “We will spend time together outside once we have eaten.” It’s easy to say this now when my world revolves around him and our life together. There was once a time when I missed too much time with him. In a way, this new world has had its share of blessings. If only it felt like I was doing enough for him. Being enough. But that would be impossible.
I can never nurture him the way a woman could.
“Cool!” he exclaims, returning his attention to the miniature vehicle speeding across the rug.
As I turn back to my paper, I wish I could share his carefree spirit. But the weight of my past clings to me like a shroud. Even now, it still threatens to smother the fragile peace we’ve managed to build. And with last night’s indiscretion burning at the edges of my conscience, I worry that the darkness may be creeping closer once more.
