Page 68 of Aloha, Seattle


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Maybe talk about why he left me for someone else.

Is it because she’s younger?

Is it because she looks like a blonde supermodel?

Is it because she is funnier than me?

Thinner?

Smarter?

Kinder?

More spontaneous?

More talented?

More… just more?

Does he miss me?

Does he think about me?

Does he think he made a mistake dumping me?

Does he wish we could get back together?

I shake my head. Why do I still care what Derek thinks? Why am I even wasting precious brain cells on him when I am with Theo now?

Because I am not with Theo.

This is all pretend and when we leave Hawaii, it still won’t be real. A business transaction. A fair trade. One wedding for one party. Then what?

My throat tightens, my eyes start to burn and subsequently water. I feel nauseous – I need water. Or a beer. I lift a hand to my chest; my heart is savagely beating against my ribcage.

I am panicking. I need to calm down before someone notices. Or worse, before I pass out again, ruining more of Sarah and Caleb’s wedding weekend.

I see Theo kiss his Mama’s cheeks, letting her know we made it on time. She smiles and waves over at me. I barely manage to raise my hand high enough to wave back.

Theo notices something is wrong and calmly walks to the table of iced drinks. He grabs a bottle of water and makes his way back to me. But as he is walking back, Leah steps in his path, running her hand across his chest. Her hip pops seductively to one side and she flips some of her long, dark hair over her shoulder.

I flash back to Mindy. I see her smiling and touching Derek at work and me stupidly not seeing the red flags. I was happy they were getting along. I didn’t realize I was the one standing in their way of being happy together. I am the one who ultimately got punched in the gut and spent weeks moping in pajamas and living on a steady diet of chips, chocolate, and coffee.

I can’t go through this again. I can’t have my heart shattered when I am still gathering and gluing all the pieces back together.

My vision starts to get blotchy. Before I realize it, I slowly ascend the steps to go back to the hotel. Me coming to Hawaii might have been a bad idea after all.

I came to Hawaii as a fake girlfriend, and I caught feelings. Real feelings for a fake boyfriend. I am the stupid girl in the romcom movies people shake their heads at. Life is not like the movies.

What am I doing?

I am halfway up the steps leading to the hotel lobby doors when I feel a hand on my arm. I turn and see Theo, his green eyes are worried, confused.

“I called your name several times,” his breathing is slightly hitched, like he sprinted up from the beach after me. “Didn’t you hear me?”

I shake my head and my voice is nothing more than a raspy whisper, “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.”

Theo’s hands cup my face. “What’s wrong? You just left and I -”

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