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I held his gaze, wanting to say so much but unable to find just the right words.
“It’s because of you,” he said, “that I can hear music again. The first day we met, when you offered me the butterfly? I heard a melody. You woke upmysenses. You’ve made me realize that I wasn’t doing myself any favors by hiding myself away.”
There were tears in his eyes. Mine, too.
“Life’s short, Ava. So short. I don’t want to waste any more time being unhappy. I want—”
He broke off at the sound of huffing and puffing. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Dez jogging barefoot down the beach. Norman let out a short bark as Dez approached.
“It really is the most darling sound.” I tried to copy it but failed miserably. At my attempt, Norman barked harder, as if he was insulted.
Dez wheezed as he reached us. “Did she already leave?”
His face was flushed, and if I didn’t know he was a healthy man, I’d be worried. Sam and I pointed toward the pier. Maggie and Donovan were still deep in conversation.
Dez said, “Thanks,” and headed that way.
“Can you hear what Maggie and Donovan are talking about?” he asked.
“I could if I focused, but I’ve done enough butting in today.”
“It can’t be all that bad.”
I smiled sadly. “It feels like it is.”
Sam stood and held out a hand to help me up. I nudged Norman off my lap, and his tail wagged excitedly.
“How about we head back?” he suggested. “It’s been a long day and Maggie’s in good hands.”
Part of me wanted to stay, to explain myself, to give her a hug, but it might be best to let things settle down. It would also give me time to pack up before Dez got back, because one thing I knew for sure—I wouldn’t be comfortable staying in his house any longer.
CHAPTER 25MAGGIE
The clear blue-green water below me rippled and rolled but was relatively calm. A pair of dolphins played in the distance, and a squadron of manta rays was swimming around the pilings, lingering as if they were keeping me company.
This spot had always been one of my favorite places. It was where I felt closest to my mama, almost as if she were here with me.
Many times I’ve sat here and thought about her, wondering what she’d look like now. Would she have aged gracefully or fought it tooth and nail? Would she still love skydiving? Hate ketchup? Like roller skating? Be cranky that Mr. Floyd kept the milk at the far side of his market and not up close to the front doors? Would she still drop everything to watch a sunset? Or play in the mud?
I had often wondered what she’d think about my latest haircut. Or my grades in school. Or why I had to keep Noah. Or why I’d pushed Donovan away.
Why I seemed to keep pushing him away.
Sometimes I sat here wondering whatmylife would’ve looked like if she hadn’t been swept off by destiny. Would my personality be the same? Would I have made other life choices? Would I be a completely different person?
The answer to those questions was always yes.
Losing my mama had completely reshaped my thinking, my life,me.
I didn’t know how she would feel about that. Would she understand how profoundly I’d been affected? Or would she waga chastising finger at me, because I’d allowed her absence to change me, my destiny, my future?
So lost in my thoughts, I startled when I heard a voice behind me.
“I should’ve known to check here for you first. May I?” Donovan asked, motioning to the space next to me.
I nodded. “You were looking for me?”
He sat down, his feet dangling the same as mine. He put his hands behind him and leaned back. “Ava got worried when you didn’t show up at Dez’s. She wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you? Okay?” He peered at me, studying my facial features. When I’d had the mini-stroke months ago, the left side of my face had drooped for a good half hour.
