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Bare of any furniture or comforts of any kind. The space was damp, cold. It sent a shiver down my spine. My eyes adjusted to the darkness that surrounded me, seeing where I had ended up. There were no windows, nothing to let in any light. And I couldn’t find a door to get out, trapping me inside.
The walls were carved from the earth, smelling of wet dirt and decay. The sound of night-crawlers in the walls had me shrinking back away as I sat on the floor.
I was alone.
I didn’t know how long it had been, how long I sat there in the dirt, staring at the carved walls before me. My mind blank, my thoughts lost. My heart was empty for I felt nothing. But time seemed to pass slowly here in the dark. For all I knew, it could have been days or only just minutes. However long it had been, it all blended together even as I sat there. It did not matter anymore, not really. Sitting alone in the darkness as I let it swirl around me in sadness and anguish. The only real thing that kept me company were the twinkling lights above, having shown up what felt like hours ago. Not really sure where they had come from, or how they came to be, but they were there. Even here, the stars were my friends, keeping me company.
My ball gown had torn, leaving it dirty and in shreds. The crystals on the bodice had lost all of their sparkle, as if they too had given up and no longer wanted to shine. Betrayed by another as well. At some point, I’m not sure when my hair had fallen out. The limp curls cascading down around my shoulders. Falling in front of my face. Pulling my knees to my chest and resting my chin, I stared.
Stared at nothing. My world had been shattered, again. My heart was broken and smashed. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. Everything I believed was also a lie.
He’d lied to me.
And I know I should have known better, I should have seen it coming, but I was a fool. I let my heart lead me thinking one thing, when I should have been listening to my head. Telling me that something was wrong. To play with the Goblin King, to play his game, whatever game this was. . . was a risk in itself.
And I had made a mistake, again.
I had trusted him. I had wanted him. And worse yet, I had fallen for him. My stupid idiot heart had fallen for him. Falling for him had certainly been asking for trouble too. And I played. Oh, I had played his game and I had lost. I had given my heart to someone I didn’t even know.
I had held it out to him, thinking it would be repaired. Thinking he would hold it and cherish it. For every encounter it had pieced itself back together. For every moment I was in his presence, it wanted him. I don’t know if I would call it love, because love was different for everybody but this. . . it was something. Was it not?
It was familiar. Destined. It felt. . .right.
But none of that mattered now.
Everything was different. And I had been a fool. I had played with a being I knew was dangerous. I had risked more than just my life by coming here, by agreeing to play his game. I knew making a deal with him was going to cost me.
And it did.
The tear rolled down my cheek, burning a path as it dripped off my jaw. Brushing it away before laying down in the damp earth. Letting the darkness caress my heart, welcoming its embrace before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.
* * *
Ididn’t dream, or at least I don’t think I did. The only dream that accompanied me was the nightmares, the same nightmare. Always the same. Fire, shouts, and the sound of steel rang in my ears. It was my only companion in my dark earthen carved room. One that plagued me so many times before, my dreams from the past riddled with it. Often waking up in a fit of sweats. Nona was usually there, to calm me down. But not this time.
Not now.
She was gone.
I was left alone to deal with them on my own. Dozing in and out of consciousness, never really registering where I was. I would wake in another fit of sweats, my hair damp as I rolled over on the ground and went back to sleep. Over and over it seemed, the vicious cycle repeating itself. I never felt rested, it always felt like the energy I had gained was expelled from me almost instantly.
All I really remembered was the smell of the wet earth, the feel of the damp ground and the twinkling lights above before falling back into the safety and familiarity of the darkness. That was, until the nightmares would start again. The events of the ballroom were a long distant memory.
I’m not sure how long it had been. Not sure the last time I had something to eat or even saw the sun. But what did it matter anymore? Really, because did it matter anymore? In this place I was safe, as safe as I could be from those who would harm me. From those who would break me. I was content to stay here forever if it meant I no longer had to feel.
This place was Hell, and it was where I belonged.
* * *
Iawoke with a jolt. Suddenly feeling as if I was no longer alone. As if someone watched me in the dark. The feeling of another presence, waiting. “Who’s there?” my voice came out hoarse from not using it in some time. How long has it been?
How long have I been down here?
“Why are you crying?” a voice whispered, it was soft but shrill.
I jumped, having not expected an answer. I’d been in here alone for so long I had not realized how quiet the space had been. How my mind had let go of so many thoughts. How the silence had afforded me time to grieve. Grieve for myself, grieve for my parents, my brother. Grieve for my Nona.
My life I had known with her.
