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Going through such a painful breakup once was difficult enough, and I won’t go through it again. I doubt I’d survive breaking another bond anyway–breaking the last one had me in so much pain I blacked out for hours.
I won’t survive that again.
The best thing I can do for myself is to keep Alessandro at an arm’s length, a perfectly safe distance from me. Close enough to keep my job so I can dig myself out of this hole I’ve found myself in, but not close enough to get attached.
I can’t risk it, not after what happened last time.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this shitstorm, it’s that I have to protect myself first. Think first, feel later. It’s the only way I’m going to survive.
Now that my thoughts are flooded with Alessandro instead of my dickhead exes, I have to give his bartending skills credit. These drinks were stronger than anything I’ve ever had, and the two I drank have me feeling like I’m floating in a pool.
A warm, fuzzy feeling weighs down my limbs, drowning out any sadness or frustration I felt earlier today. At least I got what I wanted by coming in here–temporary relief and distraction–though I’m leaving with much more.
I try to pay the manager, Damon–a squatty beta with dark hair and dark eyes–for the drinks before I leave, but he dismisses the offer.
“Mr. Costa has it covered,” he assures me. “Do you need someone to walk you out?”
“No.” I shake my head, which doesn’t help the swimming feeling. “Thanks though.”
As I make my way to the front door, I look around the dining area for any hint of the silver-haired alpha, but he’s nowhere to be found.
Damn it.
I at least want to thank him again or say goodbye before leaving, which is probably silly, but it makes sense to my inebriated brain. I bet he’s in the office, handling whatever bartenders handle in their spare time.
Though it feels like it should be dark because of how drunk I am, the sun is still shining brightly.
That’s right.It’s only four in the afternoon.
I got drunk in the middle of the day because of my shitty luck and a snarky alpha.
I should probably be more careful from now on. No getting drunk until I have a place to stay that’snotmy car. Not that I’m a danger to anyone, nor do I plan on driving–it just doesn’t seem like a very good idea to sleep drunk in public.
Probably illegal, but who cares.
Carefully abiding by street signs and blinking lights, I make my way back to my car. Getting run over before my first actual job interview would be such a shame, and probably the lamest excuse to get out of it.
Clearing out the backseat again to lay down and take a nap sounds exhausting, especially since I just shoved everything back there this morning. It’s not even that comfortable; it’s hardly worth the effort.
Instead, I pull out my window shades from the trunk and put them inside the windshield and the front two windows for an attempt at privacy. Then, I lean my seat back as far as it’ll go with my pile of belongings in the back and let my eyes drift closed.
Light still creeps in through the back end of the car, but not enough to bother me. I’m exhausted, drained by all the emotions of the day, as well as the alcohol coursing through my system, and I know a nice long nap is just what I need.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I’ll take it in stride, but for right now, I just want to sleep.
Curled up beneath a blanket without even bothering to take my makeup off, my mind floats with hazy thoughts of Alessandro and his dark, gorgeous eyes. I think about the way they bore into mine, making my skin flush with heat, watching me as I purposely teased my straw with my tongue.
I still can’t believe I did that.
As someone so completely turned off to alphas after my last relationship went up in flames, I sure seem to like antagonizing this one. And if I didn’t know better, I’d say he enjoys it just as much.
The last thing I see before I drift off to sleep is Alessandro reaching across the bar and cupping a rough hand behind my neck, dragging me forward as he leans in.
Then, I’m out.
six
JESSA
