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Maybe it’s just a trauma response for my exes not taking care of me the way an alpha should and always expecting a reward for being nice.
Maybe this is just another thing about being broken that will heal with time.
Or maybe I’ll always be this way–always skeptical of chivalry and wondering whether I deserve any of it.
I chew the inside of my cheek, swallowing down a ball of emotions and nearly choking on them, which Alessandro seems to notice, because he quickly changes the subject.
“Eat,” he says, gesturing to my plate with a tip of his head. “Your food is going to get cold.”
The rest of the meal passes in awkward silence, and I can’t get past the unsettling feeling. I offer to wash the dishes since he cooked, but he just shakes his head and carries them to the sink to take care of them himself. I don’t know if he doesn’t trust me to get the job done, or if he’s still trying to take care of me, but I offer him a smile before he grabs his keys and heads for the front door.
“I’ll see you this afternoon,” he says. “You’re welcome to use anything you need here. The maid comes around noon, so don’t be surprised when she lets herself in. She has a key.”
A maid?
As if I needed another reminder of how much I don’t belong here in Alessandro’s house. My family was always poor, and while the alphas I ended up with had money, they didn’t have enough to spend on frivolous things like a maid. Besides, as their omega, I was left in charge of all the housework and made to clean.
Meanwhile, Alessandro hasn’t asked me to lift a finger. Even when I offer to help, he politely declines and handles things himself.
He treats me so differently than my old pack did, and it’s disturbing. I don’t know how to react.
My old alphas tainted every thought I’d ever had of an alpha, jading me to the point where I thought they were all insufferable. Instead, here Alessandro is, undoing every judgment I have and breaking down the walls I built to safeguard me from being hurt or trapped again.
Maybe it would be all right after all to tell him I’m an omega?
Maybe I could stop taking my scent blocker and nothing would change between us?
Fuck. My blocker!
Panic floods my body, making my heart race as the door closes behind Alessandro and I’m left alone in his massive house. I completely forgot about it, and it’s time for another dose. Otherwise, there won’t be anymaybesabout it. My omega scent will start to perfume again, and my secret will find its way out.Can’t have that.
I peek through the blinds near the front door, waiting until Alessandro is gone before running outside to my car and digging through the backseat until I find the small bottle I’m looking for. There are only a few left, which means I’ll have to go through the extensive process of getting them filled soon–when I have money–but I’ll worry about that later. I have at least two weeks’ worth of pills if I space them out to every other day, which is a little risky but should be fine, and right now, I have soaked sheets to tend to.
Maid or not, I don’t plan to leave any evidence of an omega in this house for Alessandro to potentially stumble across.
So, after making my way through the entire house to find the laundry room, I haul the sheets from the guest room downstairs and stuff them into the washer, setting them to quick wash. I then pack up my belongings, toss them in the car, and watch the big screen television in the living room while I wait for the laundry to finish.
It’s a slow process, and I nearly doze on the plush couch while I wait, which reminds me just how comfortable I am here. I haven’t been able to sleep on a whim in weeks, always worried about what will happen when I close my eyes, or I’ve been too uncomfortable in the backseat of my car to fall asleep quickly. I can’t deny how nice it is to feel safe, to not have to worry about my next move or if I’m being watched by someone on the street.
For the first time in a long time, I truly feel okay, but I know this can’t last.
I can’t abuse Alessandro’s kindness forever, and even though I’m pretty sure he’d let me stay here again tonight, I can already foresee myself sleeping in the car.
I might be okay with a once-a-week arrangement, but I can’t be stuck in this house with him every night and not find myself tiptoeing down the hall to his room to do much more than sleep. The chokehold this man has on me won’t allow it, and just thinking about the possibilities puts a smile on my face and has slick pooling between my thighs again.
Shit, this is getting to be too much.
My heat blocker must be starting to fade, even though I thought I had a little while left before I was due for another shot, which only adds another layer of complications to my mounting number of issues. Until I get some money coming in, I can’t go to the doctor, but if my heat arrives and Alessandro is within a thousand-mile radius, I doubt I’ll be able to function.
I already want him, but it would be a painful, intolerable need at that point.
Scent blocker. Heat blocker.Lying to Alessandro’s face.All this to conceal a truth that could put me in danger and cause me to lose the very little I’ve fought to gain.
I’m a lone omega, an anomaly. I left my alphas, which is damn near unheard of, and I’m masquerading as a beta to keep from being found out. It’s insane to think about the lengths I’ve gone to keep myself safe, and I’m trying, but I’m not sure how long I can keep up this charade.
This life I’m living is a carefully constructed house of cards, and one wrong move is going to bring it crashing down.
twelve
