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The next few hours passed in a blur of snacks, blended drinks, and random conversations. West had rented out the café for the evening, and my little siblings and the kids of our family friends kept Jett busy behind the counter making every combo of non-caffeinated drinks possible.
It was exactly the kind of low-key evening that suited Eli, and I loved watching him and Caleb bond over their mutual interest in science. My man was a hit with everyone, but our little siblings were completely taken with him, especially Lyla.
“Hey.” West approached me.
The party was winding down and only our family was left. I’d been about to see if Caleb was ready to go, but gave West my full attention. By his serious expression, the conversation we were about to have needed to happen, and had been a long time coming.
“Hey.”
“How have you been?”
“Good. How’s all the moving prep going?”
“Pretty good.”
We fell quiet.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry—about what happened when we were younger.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t want to leave without telling you that.”
“I know you are.” I sighed and looked at the man in front of me. He wasn’t the boy who’d ruined my life anymore. It was time I let that shit go, and not just for Eli. “But it’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for what happened. The school, the cops…that’s not on you.”
“Maybe not, but I still feel shitty that you were caught in the middle of everything.”
“Yeah, me too. But again, it’s not your fault.”
“I’m also sorry for the way I treated you before all that went down.” His expression shifted to one of regret.
“Why’d you hate me so much?” I asked softly. The question had been simmering in the back of my consciousness for nearly a decade.
“I didn’t.” Pulling his hands out of his pockets, he fiddled with his watch. “I thought you were an arrogant shit and it pissed me off that you were a better swimmer than me, but I never hated you.”
“In your defense, I was an arrogant shit.” I smiled, but it was forced. “But I had nothing on you.”
“You didn’t.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “I’m not exactly sure why I was such a dick to you. I’ve thought about it a lot lately, and I think part of it was because it was expected of me. We were rivals, so even though the whole rivalry was stupid and orchestrated by Coach, I went along with it because it was easy.
“But I think the biggest part was I liked pissing you off. Not because I liked hurting you,” he added quickly. “More that it was fun. You were the only person who fought back. Everyone else was so afraid to cross me or say anything because of who my dad is, but you didn’t hold back. It…confused me.”
“Confused you?”
“I…had a thing for you.” He bit his lip. “But I didn’t understand it at the time.”
“When did you figure out you’re bi?”
“Not until I went to boarding school. Being in an all-boys environment kinda jumpstarted my sexual awakening.”
“I imagine it would.” I snickered.
“When did you realize you’re gay?”
“I always knew deep down, but I didn’t fully accept it until senior year.”
“It’s such a fucked-up stereotype.” West raked a hand through his perfectly styled hair. “Bullying the guy you’re crushing on. I wasthatasshole, and I hate it.”
“It’s not like I was innocent in all this. You were a dick, but I could have reacted better. I didn’t have to antagonize you or go along with the dumb rivalry either. If we’re being honest, I had a thing for you too.”
“You did?”
I nodded. “It pissed me off because I didn’t want to want you, so I took it out on you.”
