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“Same here. You were always there for me, even when things were tough.”
It was true. Was it wrong to threaten that friendship? Maybe I was just lonely. I was just trying to fill a hole. I didn’t think it was a good idea to mess that up. Neither Emmy nor I had much luck in the relationship department. I couldn’t think of a single woman I dated that I was still friends with. It was difficult to remain friends after a failed relationship. There were always hurt feelings and some anger. I didn’t want that to happen to me and Emmy. I wasn’t sure we could get past seeing each other naked. That was not something I could forget. I would always look at her and want her. I knew that without a doubt. We might find we weren’t great lovers and were better friends. Would we ever be able to get back to where we were right now? Could we sit and eat pizza without thinking about something that one of us said that led to our breakup?
“Hey, I’ve got one.” She grinned. “Remember the time we got lost in the woods during our camping trip? We thought we would never make it back to camp.”
“Oh, yeah, that was scary.” I laughed. “But we managed to find our way back thanks to your sense of direction.”
“And your perseverance. We make a great team, don’t we?”
“We sure do.” I nodded. “I’m so grateful for our friendship, then and now. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Me too,” she agreed on a sigh. “We may have grown up, but we’ll always have those memories to cherish. I’m glad that we’ve made it work into adulthood. Not many people are lucky enough to have this kind of friendship.”
“You’re right,” I said.
“What?” she asked.
I almost gave it away. I took a drink. “Nothing.”
We fell into awkward silence once again. We never had awkward pauses between us. Just thinking about being with her was making things awkward. I needed to dismiss the idea. I tested the waters and got my answer.
“So, got any dates lined up?” she asked.
“What?”
“You always have a lady on deck. Who’s it going to be? The lady from the coffee shop?”
“Nope.” I shook my head.
“Are you taking a break from the dating world?” she teased.
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “I think I need to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.”
She laughed. “What situation?”
“I’ve dated a lot of women and I’m not getting anywhere,” I said. “I seem to be making more enemies. Women are always telling me I’m not emotionally available or that I don’t pay enough attention.”
“What happened? What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” I replied, running a hand through my hair. “I just can’t seem to find the right woman. Every time I think I’ve found someone special, something goes wrong. It’s like I’m cursed or something. I thought I found the one, but now, I’m not so sure.”
She nodded sympathetically. “I hear you. Dating can be tough. But taking a break might not be a bad idea. Sometimes it’s good to step back and recharge. Maybe I’ll do that, too.”
“Yes, that’s what I’m thinking,” I agreed, my voice laced with resignation. “I’m just tired of the endless cycle of disappointment. Maybe if I take some time to focus on myself, I’ll have a clearer idea of what I’m looking for. Maybe I’ll be able to move past—” I stopped myself.
Emmy was always the one to cheer me up or talk me down from a crazy decision. “Maybe you’ll even discover a new hobby or interest while you’re at it,” she joked. “You said you wanted to take up painting.”
“I have never said I wanted to take up painting.”
“But don’t you?” She asked.
I chuckled. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll even become a hermit and never leave my house again. I’ll work from home and never go to another bar.”
Emmy laughed. “Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. But seriously, take all the time you need. The right person will come along eventually.”
“For you as well.” I nodded. “What about the guy you met at the grocery store? Are you seeing him again?”
She cringed. “I don’t think so.”
