Page 15 of A Childhood Crush


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“There’s not another woman,” he answered in a deep voice. “Not really.”

“Ah, so you’re single and ready to mingle,” I joked.

In the back of my mind, I was having some other thoughts. We were both single. Not like single and pining for someone else or heartbroken over a breakup. We had always been on a strange merry-go-round. He would be dating, and I would be single. I would be dating, and he would be single. He would be single, and I would be nursing a broken heart. I was pretty sure this was the first time we were both single.

“I’m single, but I don’t know if I’m ready to mingle,” he said. “I think I’m done with picking up random women. I know what I’m looking for. I’m tired of trying to find the right one when I know they aren’t going to be what I want.”

He seemed so serious. It was not his usual way. He seemed almost down, defeated. “What do you want?”

He looked at me for several long seconds. I could see him thinking about his answer, which was odd. He was trying to choose his words. We didn’t keep secrets from one another. “I want what Leo has,” he finally answered. “I want a woman who loves me and will be my best friend. I want someone I can laugh with and have those long talks into the dead of night. I guess I want a woman who can be my other half.”

I watched him as he talked. He seemed so heartfelt. It was so meaningful. He was speaking from his heart. I wanted to believe he was talking to me about me. But it was Luke. Luke was out of my league. He was the guy ladies dreamed about. Not the guy someone like me actually got. I always felt a bit like a nerd.

“Good luck with that,” I finally said.

“What?”

“Good luck finding the woman you described,” I said. “She sounds perfect.”

“Good luck?” he repeated.

“Yes, good luck.” I laughed and reached for another pizza slice. “I don’t know if I believe there is a Mr. or Mrs. Right out there for all of us. I think Leo and Caroline got very lucky.”

“You don’t think you’ll meet the right man?” he asked.

“I’m sure I’ll meet a man, but I’m not sure it will be the perfect man,” I answered with a sigh.

“What if you’ve already met the right man?” he asked softly.

“Wouldn’t I know that?” I asked.

In my mind, I knew who that man was, but he wasn’t mine to have. I wanted a man just like Luke. He was a kind, loving man with enough of a hard edge to not be soft. I didn’t want a soft man. I did like the idea of a man being just a little dangerous. I wanted a man I could count on just in case. Just in case my father’s business did come back to bite me in the ass. I wanted a man who would talk to me when I was having a bad day or a good day. I wanted my best friend to also be my lover.

He shrugged. “Maybe. Look at Caroline and Leo. It took them a long time to figure out they actually liked each other. They hated each other and had no idea they were meant to be together. They were right under each other’s noses and had no idea.”

“Are you suggesting my Mr. Right is right under my nose?” I asked.

He took a drink. “Maybe.”

ChapterSeven

Luke

My attempt to steer the conversation toward me and her had backfired. She didn’t see me as the man for her. I should have known. She was never going to see me as anything more than a friend. Her protector who was always looking out for her. I was the guy she called when she had a problem, she needed handled. I was her muscle.

I didn’t want her to feel like I was pressuring her. Things got a little weird. It was time to steer it back to something safer. “Do you remember the time we snuck out of your house to go watch the meteor shower?” I asked her.

Her face lit up. “Of course, I do! We were so little back then. It was such a beautiful night. We lay on the grass for hours just staring at the sky.”

“We almost got caught, too!” I laughed. “Your mom was so mad when she found out we had left the house. I remember asking her not to tell your dad.”

“She forgave us pretty quickly.” She smiled softly. “She always knew we were best friends and always up to some mischief. I think it scared her to find me missing from my bed. Looking back, I understand why she was so panicked. She thought I had been kidnapped straight out of my bed. I do understand that was terrifying for her.”

I slowly chewed my pizza. My mind wandering. Was I making a mistake? Was I misreading my own feelings? Maybe I was trying to get what Leo had and was just trying a plug and play situation. I couldn’t just put someone in the girlfriend slot. Emmy seemed like a good option, but was she really? Was I only thinking about her as a girlfriend because she was close? She was the only woman in my life who had been consistent.

“Do you miss those days?” I asked. “When everything was so simple and carefree?”

She slowly nodded. “Sometimes, yes. But I also cherish the memories we made together. I don’t think I would be the same person I am today without you in my life. You have been my best friend for as long as I can remember. My protector and confidante.”

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