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“That’s not true, Mama. Relationships are a two-way street. Everyone puts unrealistic expectations on themselves. What was it Dad always said? Hindsight is twenty-twenty.”
Mary chuckled. “That was one of his favorites.”
“But it’s true. I think we need to forgive ourselves just as much as we need to forgive each other.”
“Deal,” Mary said. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you, Mama. That means a lot to me, and I’m proud of you too.” Ivan took his first easy breath since she’d answered his call. Tears of joy filled his eyes. “I feel so much better.”
“Oh, honey, I’m not done. I’ve saved the biggest apology for last. Are you ready?”
Ivan chuckled, and it sent the tears careening down his cheeks. He scrubbed a hand over his face to wipe them away, then glanced up to see Rory standing in the doorway, wearing a look of concern. Ivan waved him into the room and tucked Rory against his chest when he sat on the bed beside Ivan.
“I’m most sorry you couldn’t trust me with your truth, and I’m beside myself with regret that you thought I wouldn’t love the real you.” Mary took a shaky breath. “Shame and regret over our own actions drove the wedge between us. I know your dad tried to explain this to you before he got sick, but I want to make sure you hear me and believe me.”
“I’m listening, Mama.”
“Of course we were shocked when you beat that car until it looked like a crushed Matchbox toy, but we internalized all the anger at ourselves. We had done so wrong by you, and I think a part of us believed you were better off without us. I failed you, Ivan, and instead of writing you a letter right away or visiting you in jail, I let my silence confirm the worst things you believed about yourself. Even after we reconnected, we never discussed what went wrong. I failed you there too. It was up to me to extend the olive branch, but I was just so scared to rock the fragile foundation we’d built.”
“Me too,” Ivan admitted. “I just buried my thoughts and feelings deep and built a wall to keep them contained.” He tightened his arm around Rory and relished his warmth. “It took someone special to tear down my defenses and disrupt the soil of despair.”
Rory sighed and nestled his head against Ivan’s chest. “Such a poet.”
“When are you going to bring Rory home to meet your family?” Mary asked.
Ivan stiffened in surprise. “How did—”
“Come on, Ivan. You talk more about him during our phone conversations than you do anyone else or your precious bees. So when do we get to meet this wall breaker and soil disrupter?”
“I’ll bring him home to meet all of you whenever he’s ready,” Ivan replied.
Rory sat up and looked at Ivan. He pointed at himself and mouthed, “Me?”
Ivan nodded and smiled at his slack-jawed reaction, then he tucked Rory against his heart again. He continued talking to his mother for another fifteen minutes about the usual things they normally discussed. She caught him up on everything happening around the farm and updated him on baby Claire. She’d apparently discovered her feet and wanted to put everything in her mouth, including her chubby toes. They disconnected with heartfelt expressions of love and forgiveness, but the emotional gauntlet had exhausted Ivan.
Rory looked just as wrecked when he lifted his head from Ivan’s chest.
“Any luck getting in touch with Nick or your father?”
“Nicky took my call but couldn’t talk long. It sounded like he was in the middle of something important. He said I’ve done nothing wrong and anyone with a modicum of sense would see that. He offered to come get me.” Ivan stiffened and held his breath while he waited for Rory to continue. “I told him I wasn’t going anywhere and briefly shared your idea.” Rory smiled impishly. “He said you’re a genius, and I should listen to you.”
“The genius part is debatable, but I appreciate the compliment,” Ivan said. “What about your dad?”
Rory shook his head. “Got his voicemail and left a long message. I considered calling his campaign manager, but that guy is a dumbass. They should spin the fuck out of this in the best way, but that moron wants to ignore everything and hope it goes away.” Rory sighed heavily. “I’ve decided how I want to handle the situation with my dad. It will be my peace offering and hopefully will invite further discussion between us like you’ve had with your mom.” Rory sighed. “She sounds wonderful.”
“She is. Maybe your dad will surprise you too.”
“I hope so, and I truly mean it. Being here on the ranch has given me a lot of time to put things into perspective. There have been many instances that reminded me of the happier times I shared with my father, and I realize I haven’t been completely fair. He handled his grief in the best way he knew how, and I need to forgive him whether or not he wants it.”
Ivan pressed his lips against Rory’s, tentatively at first but with growing fervor each second that passed. It would be so easy to close the door on the chaos and just enjoy the cocoon of happiness they’d created in Ivan’s bedroom. That wasn’t what they needed. Ivan allowed himself to bask in Rory’s affection and enjoy his lush mouth and curious fingers until they reached the point of no return. Rory thought Ivan was reaching into his nightstand to retrieve the lube and groaned when he pulled out a notebook and pen instead.
“We have work to do first. Battle plan now. Get plowed by your farm felon later.”
Rory snorted and slapped his arm. “Don’t you ever belittle yourself like that again.”
“You’re right. I’m the felon foreman around these parts.”
Rory groaned and sat up. He accepted the notebook and pen before pushing to his feet. “Come on. I need coffee for this. Maybe a cold shower first.”
