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That excitement turns to dread as I approach her bedroom door and hear her sniffling.
I swear I might kill Taylor if I ever see him again.
I push her cracked door open and find her face buried into her pillow as she cries. Rushing over to her, I sit on the bed beside her. “Lo… baby, what’s wrong?”
She sits up quickly, surprised by my intrusion. Sloan tries to push me off her bed. “Get out, Wes.”
My heart temporarily stops… I have never in all my years of knowing her, seen her like this. Especially not towards me.
I try reaching for her, but she recoils… causing my chest to ache even more. “Sloan, tell me what’s wrong.”
“Why didn’t you tell me… you’ve had so many opportunities to tell me,” she pleads with me.
“Tell you what?” Just as the words come out of my mouth, my stomach sinks knowing the one secret that would have her this upset with me.
“You could have at least told me before we took it any further. Or how about before I fell in love with you Wesley… how about that?” she says angrily as I stare at her in complete shock by this turn of events. She just said she loves me, but this definitely isn’t how I wanted to hear those three little words.How could I have been so stupid?
Tears fall from her eyes as she continues, “But guess what Wes, I’m not the only one who has feelings for you… apparently my sister, who youfucked, does too.” Letting that last part out angrily.
Wait what? Maddie doesn’t have feelings for me.
I drop to my knees so I’m eye level to where she sits. “Lo, you’re right. I should have told you, but please let me explain.”
“What is there to explain, Wes?” Sloan asks but won’t meet my eyes. She’s so hurt by this and it’s killing me. I need to elaborate, so she fully understands it wasn’t like that.
“We were still basically kids. Just fifteen years old and one night after hearing most of our friends had already had sex during a game of never have I ever. We stayed up late talking about it and decided we should lose it to each other. That way, we could do it with someone we trusted and not be stressed about our first time with someone else.”
Sloan is watching me intently as I recall that night between friends. Truly friends is all I have ever seen Maddie as and up until a minute ago, that’s all I thought she saw me as.
“It was a one-time thing. We never spoke of it again and both agreed not to tell anyone else. It never hindered our friendship, which I was thankful for, and we both went our own ways afterwards. I had no idea she had any romantic feelings for me. Did she say that?”
“Yeah Wes, she did,” Sloan says slowly, most likely processing everything I just told her.
“Do you believe me?”
“I do. I wish you would have told me. I get it was a friendship thing, but she’s still my sister,” she says, finally looking at me.
Grabbing her hands in mine, needing to touch her, I say, “I know baby, I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
“Yes, you should have. Now I’m fighting an internal battle between being relieved that it was just an agreement between friends and feeling sorry for my sister that she wishes it was more.” Her bright blue eyes shine with tears over the turmoil going on in her head and I hate myself a little more in that moment.
“I hate that I put you in that position. If taking it back meant I didn’t cause you or her any of this pain, I would do it in a heartbeat. I don’t want to hurt her either, but I definitely don’t want to lose you Sloan… I love you.”
When she doesn’t respond right away, I ask her a question I’ve been needing to know since she uttered the words moments ago.
“Did you mean it when you said you were in love with me? Because… I want us to work through this… please Thea. I was coming up here to talk to you about making us a real thing. I’ll come visit... I’ll—” Her sobs interrupt my words.
“Wes, we can’t,” she whispers through tears.
“Why not? Don’t do this,” I plead.
“My sister… my big sister… is also in love with you. And technically, she had you first. I just can’t do that to her.” Taking her hands out of my hold, she rubs her chest, almost like her heart is hurting.I know mine is.
Standing up from the bed, she says, “Even if I could… I refuse to be that toxic girlfriend, always questioning you and asking what you’re doing and who you’re with. This situation proves you’re willing to hide the truth from me.”
“Sloan… come on, that’s not fair. I would have told you, but honestly… it just wasn’t like that. I didn’t think about it affecting you this much and I surely didn’t realize she even still thought about it because… I don’t. That may make me sound shitty, and you know I love Maddie as a friend, but that night was strictly that for me. Two friends using each other for a common goal.”
“You’re right, but my spiteful remark is exactly the point. That’s not like me to say or act this way. I won’t let us turn into that. We can’t start a long-distance relationship like this. We just can’t.” Almost whispering the last part as she stares out her window, “Maybe one day, if things are different.”
