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“I can’t imagine what he’s going through.”
“Me either.” And I truly can’t. Even though my timing is shit, Quinn is still alive and well. There is no world I want to exist in if she isn’t by my side. That thought breaks my heart a little more for Coach.
“Want me to try to catch a red eye so we can hang out this weekend? I know I better not fall into the category of people wasting your time?” she says, trying to lighten the mood, but she has no idea that she is the only person who isnevera waste of my time.
“Queenie, I’m good… don’t worry that pretty little head about me. You go kick some ass in volleyball this weekend.”
“How’d you know that’s what I was doing?”
“Because I know you… and I pay attention more than you think.”
She giggles. “You know I love you, right, E?”
I do.
“Love you, Q. I’m just pulling up to my place, so I’m about to head in and sleep for a straight fourteen hours. FaceTime me Sunday when you get back to the city,” I say, trying to give her some sense of normalcy. Something I don’t feel right now, but I know if I don’t, she will show up on my doorstep whether I want her to or not.
“It’s a date. Eat some Reese’s and think of me while you watch Zombies.”
I always think of you. More than I’ve ever admitted,is what I want to say, and I know as I hang up the phone, today’s revelation is only going to have all thoughts of her spiraling out of control.
There’s no denying it… I’m in love with my best friend and I honestly think I have been for a very long time.
I walk in the door and head straight to the liquor cabinet, in need of something to drown my sorrows and poor-fucking-timing.
Eleven
Quinn- 27
Eli- 29
Four months later
“Ithought you were a Yankees fan… why did you wearhisjersey last night?” my boyfriend, Luke, asks as I settle into his BMW four series.
Well, hello to you too, butthole.
“Since I’m guessing you just saw my Instagram post, you must have also seen the Yankees hat I was wearing. My best friend of forever pitched against them last night… of course, I’m going to wear his jersey. My whole family did. What’s the problem?” I know my voice is full of annoyance, but I don’t care. His incessant questioning about Eli is getting old.
“Also, is that really the first thing you decide to say to me when I get in the car with you? If you don’t want to go tonight, then I can take a train out to Long Island.”
He finally takes his eyes off his phone and looks at me. Luke holds my gaze for a few seconds before his eyes soften and he reaches over to pull me in for a kiss. “I’m sorry, I am working on my jealousy over Eli. You are just so beautiful and perfect. It’s hard for me to imagine you with a male best friend who doesn’t want more from you.”
Well, that isn’t exactly true, but since I started dating Luke, Eli and I have been strictly friends.
“Maybe when I finally get to meet him in person tonight, I’ll feel better.”
Fuuckk.What will he see when he looks at me with Eli? Will he see the truth?
Watching Eli pitch live last night and being the first one he ran to after his game made me feel way too much. My body lit up like the jumbotron in the stadium when he picked me up and spun me around.
“Yeah, you’ll love him. I’ve told him all about you.” That’s partially true. I picked up pretty early on that Eli didn’t really want to hear about Luke, even though he never told me that.
“My parents are excited for you to see what the neighborhood block party is all about and meet more of their friends.” My parents seem to like Luke, even though my mom constantly asks me if I’m truly happy in life. A question that often annoys me because I don’t know if I’m answering it honestly anymore.
I feel his hands, much softer than the ones I was wrapped in last night, slide across my thigh.
“Me too… and I’m even more excited for later tonight.” Luke gives the inside of my leg a squeeze.
