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“That’s some deep thinking there, Q.”
“Can’t help it. My brain won’t stop racing. All the what ifs, why nots… all of it. It's so overwhelming sometimes.” Her voice cracks on that last part, and all I want is to hold her.
“Come here,” I say, opening my arm and wrapping her up into my side. I don’t know if I have the right words to say to help calm her busy mind. So I offer her something I know she appreciates even more… comfort.
“I'm here for you always, babe. Only one phone call and a short plane ride away. No matter what.”
She sniffles softly. “I know that, E… it's one of the things I love most about you.”
I can't help but cringe at her words. How I wish they were more than the love yous we’ve been saying our whole life. Because I’minlove with Quinn Turner. Every single inch of this wild, strong-hearted woman should belong to me. But unfortunately, I missed my shot. And I would never selfishly jeopardize Quinn’s relationship by telling her so.
Speaking of relationships, I can't help but notice she hasn’t peeked at her phone once since we’ve been here. Maybe Luke is still busy with the poker game…I hope my dad cleans him out.Regardless, she doesn’t seem too worried about his whereabouts either. I wonder if she’s as happy with him as she claims.
The next question is out of my mouth before I can stop it. “Are you happy, Queenie? Like, really, truly happy.”
“What kind of question is that? Is anyone really, truly happy in life?” Well, she’s got me there. But her answer still sounds very defensive.
“I'm serious, job aside. Since you're still trying to figure that all out… Are you happy?”
“I mean, I guess…”
“You guess?” I know I'm being pushy, but her blasé answers aren’t cutting it for me. I need to hear her say that she's happy. Because if she is, then there's nothing more I can give her than my friendship. And I can move on and find a way to bury this burning sensation that lives deep within my soul. Because that’s what best friends do… they put each other’s needs before their own.
“Yeah, I'm happy,” she sighs. A sigh I know all too well.
“Cross your heart?”
She looks up at me, a lone tear sliding down her cheek. “Yeah...”
My thumb wipes it away, but I don’t remove my hand from her face. I study her eyes, ones that are filled with anguish.
It breaks my heart knowing she’s lying to me right now… and for what reason? Is it because she still feels lost in her life’s journey? Or is it something more?
* * *
Three weeks later
“How was the block party?” Sloan asks.
I decided to go for a walk tonight after I got home from practice. I thought the team workout would help clear my mind, but it has done nothing but leave me more unsettled. My brain’s been too busy thinking aboutthatweekend, and I knew Lo was the one person I could call and talk to about it all.
“It was pretty good. You know Mom killed it with the food. I swear if I wasn’t getting on a plane, that woman would’ve packed the fridge up for me.”
Sloan's laughter filters through the phone. “You got that right. I told you she shipped me a cooler of food last month. Legit, a cooler filled with food and dry ice, all the way to Cali. Lady never stops.”
“Sounds about right.” I chuckle.
“What’s up, E? It’s not like I don’t appreciate a random call from you, but usually, we stick to texts like every other human.”
“I don’t know. I—I can’t seem to stop thinking about something and I wanted your opinion on it.”
“Does this something have to do with our best friend?”
“What makes you say that?”
“Come on… I know you. And I also know this was your first time meeting herboyfriend.” The way she says “boyfriend” causes me to pause.
I take a seat on a bench along one of the walking trails. My sister knows of mine and Quinn’s relationship over the years, so her assuming it was about Quinn doesn’t shock me. Does she get the same read from Luke as I did?
