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“What do you think of the guy?” I ask her.
“Ugh… honestly, I don’t love him for her. I know that’s terrible for me to say, but there is just something about him.”
“Yeah, I hear ya.”
“What did you think of him, E? Figured he’d be on his best behavior being around the families.”
Best behavior?
Ignoring her question, I ask another of my own. “What do you mean, best behavior?”
“I don’t know. I find him a little too nitpicky for me. Luke’s so quick to comment on something Quinn does that he doesn’t necessarily love or agree with. I’ve even seen him pull her aside and chat with her about her behavior. He’s subtle about it too… so much so that I think Quinn just brushes it off and doesn’t even realize it sometimes. It’s like he’s trying to change our girl.”
“Then why the fuck does she put up with his shit? The Quinn I know and love would never let anyone put her down… What the fuck, Sloan?”
“I think she’s just tired of being alone, and when she first met Luke, he seemed different. He was friendly and thoughtful. Shit, he won her mom and dad over immediately… but as time passes, I’ve been noticing little things more and more.”
“Yeah, I saw some shit that day and wasn’t sure if it was me overthinking it or not. But clearly, if you see it too, then there’s an issue.”
“I know. I love Quinn and want what’s best for her—”
“Why is she settling with him and his bullshit? Evidently, the guy doesn’t love her if he’s trying to change everything that makes her, her.”
“E, come on, don’t be so naïve… She’s settling for him because no one will ever live up to you.”
I feel like the wind has been knocked from my lungs. Is she for real… the reason Quinn is with this douchebag is because of me?
I never second-guessed Quinn wanting more from me until the night of her graduation party. But the next morning, she went back to treating me like her best friend. Then I jumped on a quick flight to Boston for a game and pushed the thought of more to the back of my mind. That was until Coach’s words completely shattered the wall I had put around my deeper feelings for her, leaving me open and raw ever since. Now knowing that she has wanted more too, I am even more pissed at myself for not waking up sooner.
We can have it all… and we will.
“Fuck, Sloan… what am I supposed to do, huh?” I shout out of frustration. The volume causes people to stop and look.
“I honestly don’t know at this point. But I think if you were to tell her how you fee—”
“And say what… ‘hey, I love you, I think about you all day, every day. Let’s make a real go at this thing. Oh, by the way, I live 600 miles away and am on the road for half the year.’”
“You know she’d move to North Carolina in a minute if you asked her. She’d follow you anywhere, Eli.” It’s scary how well she can read a situation… saying things that I’ve been thinking for months now.
“I never wanted to ask her to uproot her entire life and follow me. All I ever wanted for her was to live her best life and figure out her own dreams.”
“For someone so smart, you sure can be such an idiot sometimes.”
“The fuck does that mean?”
“Being with youisher dream, you big, dumb jock. But, obviously, you’re too thick-headed to realize that.”
“So what am I supposed to do? Bombard her with my feelings and break up her relationship? I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do?”
“Would you rather her spend the rest of her life with someone like him?”
That thought alone makes me sick to my stomach.
Raking my fingers through my hair, I let out a growl of frustration. What am I supposed to do now? I thought this conversation with Sloan would help settle my racing thoughts, but it's only made them worse.
“Listen, I have to go… I love you. I’m sure you’ll figure your shit out. Hopefully sooner than later. In the meantime, I’m still trying to help her realize he’s not the one for her.”
“Yeah, thanks, Lo. I love you too. I’ll talk to you soon.”
