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All the thoughts running through my head have me dizzy, the same ones that have been on repeat. Four strides away from him and he’s grabbing my wrist. “Queenie, wait. Don’t walk away from me… please.”
Unable to handle the vulnerability in his voice, I slam him into the brick wall and throw myself onto him. Kissing, nipping, sucking… I devour him. Clawing my fingers into his short beard. Wanting…needing him as close as possible. Both of us completely overwhelmed with carnal desire. Our hands and mouths battle, trying to tear our way into the other some way… any way. The need is as palpable as his hard cock against my belly.
I unzip his pants and feel the weight of him in my hands. So thick, so ready. “Q,” Eli groans, watching my hand move up and down his shaft.
My mini dress is already well over my hips from our animalistic grinding. He pulls my panties to the side and lines his cock up with my dripping center. “Fuck, Q, I have missed you so much.”
“Condom?” I question just as the tip enters my throbbing pussy.
Eli stills, and I feel the tension coursing through his body. Before I even realize what’s happening, he has his cock tucked in his pants and my dress pulled back down in place.
He paces in front of me, steam practically rolling from his ears.
“No, I don’t have a fucking condom, Quinn… the only person I planned on putting my cock in is the woman I am head over dick in love with. Since when doweuse condoms?” he asks, slamming his fist into the brick wall on either side of my head.
“Since you apparently didn’t when you got another woman pregnant. Who knows about all the other girls over the years,” I practically spit at him. All my fucks given are gone as of that day last week when I saw him with her.
He closes his eyes, taking a step back. “Is that really what you think?” he asks, tenderly grabbing my hands, and I let the tears trying to choke me finally fall.
“I don’t remember much about that night. I was so hurt. I thought you were marrying another man.” He stops, taking a deep breath. “I felt like someone died. The pain was worse than somebody breaking my pitching arm off and telling me I would never play baseball again.”
I can physically see the anguish on his face at the thought of that night, and it kills me because I know that feeling all too well. The only difference is… my nightmare of a life without Eli is actually happening.
“By no means was me fucking her on you… At the end of the day, I made the decision to get wasted and be a weak man when a chick who just wanted to bang a dude in the MLB asked me for just that. But there are three things I remember without a shadow of a doubt about that night.”
He thrusts three fingers in the air toward me.
“Putting the condom on… disposing of it right before I pulled my pants up and drunkenly walked out of her hotel room, and vomiting in the hotel lobby bathroom, not because of the alcohol, but because I realized I had just fucked someone else when I was in love withyou.”
He places his strong hand over my rapidly beating heart. He has tried to explain that night to me, but ever since I realized it was the night after he thought I got engaged to another man… the night before I came and bared my soul to him, I didn’t want to hear anymore.
“Quinn, I hadn’t been with another woman since I realized I was in love with you. I knew we had an agreement, and you had a boyfriend. I tried respecting that, but I could never bring myself to be with anyone else… even all the time I knew you were fucking him.” I try to turn my gaze away from him, unable to face the truth of all that’s transpired, but both of his hands encase my cheeks, making me look into his eyes.
“And as for your comment about the other women over the years. You have no fucking clue, Q.” Eli presses his lips together, shaking his head.
“In the early years, I did hook up. I was constantly trying to break the addiction I had to you. Not even one of them had anything on you.Not one damn thing. But I knew… or I thought I knew what you needed, and it wasn’t me. Over time, I realized I was young and dumb. I’ll forever regret that. Do you really think I want anyone besides you to be the mother of my children?”
I believe him wholeheartedly, and it only makes me cry harder.
Eli holds me in his arms and makes a phone call. “Yeah, come around the back. We will walk to the end of the alley… thanks.”
“Let’s get out of here, Queenie.” I nod my head that’s buried in his warm chest.
“But can you take me to my own place… please?” I hear his defeated sigh at my request as he leads me to his awaiting SUV.
In the privacy of the back seat, I speak first.
“Eli, I believe you. I want you to know that. I know how much I mean to you, and I know you would never want to hurt me. We have both made mistakes over the years and one day when the twins are born…” I stop getting choked up again, thinking about the fact that his twin legacy will be carried on but with another woman. The news this past week of not only a positive DNA match but also the fact she’s pregnant with twins made the blow even harder.
“When they are born… so perfect and healthy, we will understand exactly why things didn’t work out the way we had hoped.” My words, shaky but strong, I dig deep into my inner tough girl for the ability to get through this.
“But we can have it all, Q. Cami knows I’m in love with you. I’ve already told her I would get her a place near us so we can share custody of the twins. She will be a part of my life as their mother, but never as anything else.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were with her Tuesday?”
“What?” Stunned, he starts again. “I’m sorry. I only didn’t mention it because I knew it would put thoughts in your head, but I wanted to go to the appointment. She called and said they had the results, and if I wanted to go get them in person, I could. I would also be able to see the babies on the ultrasound once I saw they were truthfully mine.”
“That all makes perfect sense, but guess what, Eli? I was there… sitting in the doctor’s for a checkup when you two walked out of the back. I noticed you felt uncomfortable around her. Of course, the jealous girl inside me was happy to see that, but then I also saw the look of excitement on your face.” When his face falls to his lap, defeated, it breaks another piece of my soul.
