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“That’s a little bit of an exaggeration,” I said. But I understood why she said it. My justification for lying was downright mendacious. I was suggesting nothing less than pure fraud, a lie told for media attention and financial gain. But the truth was more complicated.
The truth was that I’d said yes without a single thought for my future, or for Lena’s.
I just … liked the idea.
“Is it really so hard to imagine?” I said. “We have a great time together. We’re compatible in … in all sorts of ways.”
“We are a lot of things, Alex,” Lena said between gritted teeth. “But we arenotcompatible.”
“How’s that?” I said.
“You’re controlling, and manipulative, and I can’t bear to look at you anymore,” said Lena, and held her head in her hands. For a moment I had the awful feeling that she was going to cry, then, she stood up and walked to the window.
“All of this has been a lie from the start,” she said.
“What do you mean?” I barked.
“All of it,” said Lena. “The photos that got sent to the meeting. The job, keeping up with this ridiculous façade. It’s all been a huge lie.”
For a moment it seemed like she was going to say something else.
“Lena, I know this hasn’t been easy. And it hasn’t exactly been fair on you. But can’t you see that something really good can come out of all this?”
“You’re just using me,” she said. “You always were.”
“That’s not true,” I said. “Remember the boat? Remember last night? I care about you.”
“Then call it off,” she said. “Call it off right now.”
“I can’t do that,” I said, sighing and hanging my head. When I looked up again at Lena, into her hazel-green eyes and at her trembling, fulsome lips, I couldn’t help but reach out to hold her.
“Get off me!” she said. But I didn’t. Instead, I pulled her close to me.
“If it’s what you want,” I said, I’ll call it off.
She looked up at me.
“Really?”
“Really. I mean it. I can’t make you go through with this. I’ll look like an ass …” I said. “I don’t mind looking like an ass for you,” I sighed.
“Thank you,” she said. “And for the record, you’re not evil.”
“Is that right?” I said ironically, smiling. A strand of Lena’s hair had gotten tangled over her face, and I gently took it between two of my fingers, combing it over her ear.
There, in the heated passion of the room, her body felt warm to the touch. I couldn’t help myself; a night spent by her side, without having her and possessing her in the way I loved, was all too much.
Lena sighed, and I felt a shiver of pleasure expel itself from her body, as she held me, unperfumed and messy.
I put my hand under her chin and tilted her head to meet me. Lena’s face was a picture of mystery to me, her expressions often guarded, her secrets often hidden. Nevertheless, she was beautiful, her hair framing her long, sharp features, her beautiful nose, and a few freckles beneath her eyes.
“You’re gorgeous,” I whispered, and in my heart, I felt the roaring of the caged animal within, the one which Lena had let free on the hillside, just eighteen hours ago.
In a moment, I’d placed my hand on her back, the other one steadying her shoulders, and I went to kiss her. For a moment I was in shock at myself, astonished by what I’d done. Here? Now? For the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn’t the master of my own destiny, but a puppet pulled on strings led by a long chain of events back to the embrace of Lena Chambers.
I kissed her, and as I did, my hands reached around her neck, lifting her hair from the soft skin at her shoulders. I kissed them too, and Lena stayed still. Not out of fear, as I’d worried, but a long-lasting peace that descended at this moment.
I drew her down to the bed towards me, and for a while, she sat on my lap, curled up close to me like something small and vulnerable. Together, we looked in the mirror—my eyes blue, hers green—and together, we fell backward.
