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This started Lena out of her reverie, and she begs, hungrily, to place her mouth against my neck. To my astonishment, her hands latched onto me, one dragging down my chest, leaving a red mark from her nails, while the other thrust itself into my hair. Not for the first time did I feel like I’d found a true equal, a woman who deserved my fullest attention, I quickly tossed her over, and we began to go at each other with an intensity and force that I’d never known before. A desperate clutch for balance in the middle of increasingly crazy, screwed-up circumstances.

Lena’s mouth ran over me, and she tore off my shirt, exposing my strong biceps, which she kissed, all the way down my arm to my fingers. These she took, sucking provocatively on them while her other hand reached for my belt, skillfully pulled it up, and undid the strap, pulling it away. Then, before I knew it, she was kneeling up, and her hand was reaching into my pants.

When Lena loosened my cock from inside my underwear, she smiled greedily, and I knew that this was what she wanted, that the dark desire I felt for her lingered in both our souls, not just mine.

“I’m gonna make you come so hard for me,” she said, and my soul stirred to her lust expressed in these strong and coarse terms.

“A pretty little thing like you?” I growled, reaching her up and throwing her down on the bed. “I don’t think so.”

“Just watch me,” she said, and as she said these words Lena was jerking me off, and I moaned and sighed, before flipping her onto her back and unzipping her dress.

Her bare back exposed, I knelt down and kissed it, my mouth sensually running up her spine, and soft moans and groans escaped Lena’s mouth. I’d felt her sensitivity there as my hands played with her body, arranged her in the positions of passion we rehearsed, but now there was a magical air to the whole event, and it was the diamond ring on her finger, glinting in the soft light of late morning that seeped through the window of her room.

I wanted to linger longer, play with her more, tease her, but Lena wasn’t having it. She tore off her bra, and then put my hands around her panties.

“Fuck me,” she said. “Fuck me as hard as you can, you bastard. I want tofeelit this time.”

I wasn’t exactly going to refuse her.

Pinning Lena down on the bed, I thrust my cock inside her. This time there were no thoughts of gentleness, only desire, only lust that would stop the succession of thoughts that circled around our heads like vultures.

I pushed into her, and she moaned, and then I was thrusting hard, my hips trembling with the effort, and Lena was yelling my name. “Alex, Alex … oh yes!”

I wrapped my hands around her arms—her wrists were so delicate that my tightest grip was almost too big for her, and I reared up, looking at her. Before long I was surrendering to her, and I knew this was exactly what Lena had wanted, me at my most vulnerable, me at my most exposed, and yet I couldn’t refuse her, I had to give it to her harder than I ever had before, as she howled with delight while I plowed into her pussy.

I came for her, and when I did, I felt my body strain at every place, veins standing out, and I roared with contentment as I gave all I had to her, her face pressed up into my chest, moaning sweet nothings until it was over. And when it was, I still held her to me as my orgasm subsided and eventually there was nothing in the room but the beating of two hearts, their rhythms intertwined, and then darkness, as the exhaustion of all we’d been through caught up with us, and we surrendered, for an indulgent hour of sleep.

When I finally woke, I looked at the sleeping girl before me, and though I couldn’t bring myself to wake her and tell her this, I said it to myself, in the still, heavy room with its whirring ceiling fan, as my sweat cooled on my skin.

“Is it really so hard to believe?” I said, looking at the diamond ring on her finger.

Chapter Nineteen

Lena

Iwokeafewhours later, to Alex kissing me on my cheek. He knelt down by the bed.

“I need to go change and get ready,” he said. “There’s lots to do.”

“Okay,” I said, sitting up in bed and rubbing my eyes. I was exhausted from our adventure yesterday and the shock of this morning, and our sex had sent me into a deep, peaceful sleep.

“Why don’t you get some rest? We can make the announcement later.”

“We don’t have to right now,” I said.

“Huh?” said Alex, lazily running his hand around my neck, knotting his fingers into the soft hair on the back of my neck.

“I mean, we can’t keep lying. But I don’t want people to think you’re a bad guy or anything. Or that you made it all up.”

He nodded. “We’ll figure something out. I promise.”

“All right,” I said, smiling. “I’ll see you later.”

But as Alex kissed me again and headed out the door, I felt suddenly nauseous with it all. Jared was going to find out—if he hadn’t already. And what would he say? Would he tell his brother?

I got out of bed and ran to the toilet. I was sick again, and as I sat on the floor of the bathroom, I got my phone and called Krista.

“Help,” I said, “something’s wrong with me.”

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