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His hands are balled up at his sides, his knuckles white. “I’ll never allow myself to be angry with you.”
My heart aches and I reach out, missing the warmth his arms provided when he carried me through the thickness of the trees. I try to smile, to lift up the heaviness of the air in the room. “Well, at least I can say I technically got what I wanted.”
Ryder’s frown doesn’t lessen. “A stress fracture and a bruised tailbone?”
I scoff, shaking my head. “I might not have gotten to spend my afternoon with you, but so far, you’ve been at my side for a good chunk of my day.”
He runs a hand down his face looking like he’s aging a decade every time I open my mouth. The lines on his forehead only deepen when he shakes his head. “Why did it have to be me, Cassi? Why didn’t you ask someone else? Someone who can hike with you without any struggle?”
My lips purse and my cheeks burn. After going all this time bottling my feelings up and watching from afar, maybe it’s about time I tell the truth. Worse case scenario, Ryder rejects me. Wouldn’t be the first time.
“Well, what I offered you was a hiking date, but you assumed I wanted a ‘tour guide’. We could’ve walked for ten minutes and made out somewhere, you know? It wasn’t even about the hike. I just wanted to spend some time with you without my brother breathing down my neck and calling me gross.”
Ryder has to sit down. He shakes his head the whole time, unbelieving. “I’m forty years old, Cassi.”
“And you are dominating those years. The gray hair works, trust me.” I smile when his face flushes. “Ryder, I really don’t care how old you are. If anyone wants to judge me, then I’ll kick them with my boot. I hear those things are pretty solid.”
He curses, shaking his head. “We haven’t even spoken to each other enough for you to feel anything.”
Tell that to my heart. All I need to do is look at the guy and I want to be his.
“Okay, that one is my fault. This is going to sound so stupid, but whenever you try to talk to me, my brain just gets fried, you know? I can’t think when I’m around you.” Now my face is feeling hot. “It took a lot of courage to ask you out.”
He stands and drags his chair closer to my bed. His knees brush the paper sheet and his eyes stay on mine. Reaching forward, he grabs my hand and squeezes it. Swallowing my hand in his warmth, he clears his throat.
“I can’t hike, not like I used to Cassi. But please, ask me again. I’ll say yes, I swear to god. I don’t even care what it is you want to do.”
Screaming internally, my cheeks burn hot. “Anything?”
Ryder nods. “Anything, sweet girl.”
When am I going to get another chance like this again? Might as well take advantage and go the whole way.
“Well, I am absolutely starving,” I admit before looking away. “Would you be willing to cook a meal for me? I want you to take me to your house.”
I want to go thewholeway.
Ryder’s hesitant, as I expect him to be. Maybe he knows what I’m really wanting when I make my request. Any time spent alone with him is dangerous. With how much I want to do with him, he’s the one who won’t be safe.
“Yeah,” he agrees after a moment, “I can do that.”
I’m smiling even bigger now and when a nurse comes in with a clipboard, I have to try extra hard not to show off how flushed my cheeks are. Even if Ryder releases my hand and moves his chair back against the wall, I don’t care enough about the loss of contact.
I plan on doing a lot worse than holding hands with the man.
Ryder
Today has been an emotional rollercoaster. The source of all my emotions is currently thumping her boot against the island in my kitchen. She’s watching me like a hawk, as if she expects me to poison her food.
The back of my neck burns each time I think about the woman sitting in my home. After insisting that I make a pit stop at her home and having her waddle back to my truck with a bag at her side, she didn’t tell me the contents inside until we were driving up the mountain.
She planned on staying the night from the very start. To make matters worse, she even had to remind me how dangerous it is to drive on the mountain at night.
I should’ve turned around the moment she made her intentions clear. Instead, I’m making stir-fry.
“Smells good,” she pipes up behind me, smiling so deviously. She’s so proud, snagging me in her trap.
I let Cassi use my bathroom to clean up and ever since, I haven’t been able to focus around her. Not without letting my eyes roam her front and immediately scolding myself after.
