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“Trust me, she can handle herself. The guy won’t set a hand on her unless she wants him to.” I smiled. “And I wouldn’t mind if you keep your hands on me all night.” Yup, that was the tequila.
“How much did you drink tonight?”
“Maybe not enough.” A little more might coax every word I’d held back from him over the years, and maybe that wasn’t a bad thing?
“Why don’t I walk you back to your dorm, and then I’ll go find my sister and make sure she’s all set?” he suggested while letting go of me.
“Come on.” He reached for my hand, and it felt so small inside his big one.
“Rory says you don’t call much. Or write,” I softly confessed once we were in front of my dorm building after walking quietly hand in hand. “Why not?”
“Busy doing the whole war thing,” he deadpanned.
“Mmhm.” I rolled my eyes after facing him.
“Come on, woman, time to get you to bed.” He jutted his chin to the building as a directive.
Yes, please, get me to bed. Join me. Be with me. I need you.
He wordlessly followed me to my room. “You can come in. I don’t bite,” I joked.
A slow smirk slid across Jesse’s lips, and he hesitantly joined me in my room. His eyes landed on my bed. Somehow, he knew which side of the room was mine.
Once the door was shut, he set his back to it.
This is going to be harder than I thought. You’re so damn stubborn.
I fidgeted with the hem of my top, trying to work up the nerve to ask him the question. The big one. The will-you-take-my-virginity-card one. Yeah, THAT one.
“Jesse?”
He met my eyes. Finally. “Yeah?”
My palm landed on my chest as I tried to get a grip. “I’m a virgin.”
His lips parted in shock.
“What?” The word was more like a strangled sound. Battered and bruised from shock as it tumbled from his perfect lips.
“Plenty of boys want to,” I awkwardly confessed, feeling the need to let him know my lack of sex wasn’t because I wasn’t wanted. But I regretted it immediately at the look in his eyes. And that dark, dark look washed over me. Blanketed me in chills.
I erased the space between us and set my hand on his shoulder. His gaze fell to my touch. A slow, slow journey back to my eyes.
“None of the boys were you, Jesse,” I admitted. “And I want—no—I need you to be my first.”
The quiet way he studied me had my heart breaking into a million pieces. The rejection was coming like the onset of a Southern summer storm.
“Ella, I, um.”
“I know. I’m a Hawkins.” I hated the echo of defeat in my tone.
When he pushed away from the door and surprised me by bringing his body flush to mine, my breath hitched at the feel of his cock straining against his jeans.
So, you do want me?
He frowned. “You’ve been drinking.” He shook his head. “I just can’t. I’m sorry.”
I closed my eyes, but I didn’t pull away. I wasn’t ready to lose him.
